Depression is a nasty thing that can make us feel and do things we wouldn't under normal circumstances. I'm no professional here, but want to encourage you to start looking at all the positive things in your life. You have a wonderful husband, home, and heart. Look what you do for creatures no one even cares about. This friend was not a true friend to act this way. The ONLY thing you could blame yourself for is poor judgement, which we all have at times! I'm glad you're seeking a professional to help you through this! Keep in mind all the people here that love and respect you! If you ever need to talk, please give me a call! Just PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Hang in there Jen we all LOVE you!