Gee Kim, I wish some of your esteem would rub off on me! Maybe you are not as overweight as I am - that and the fact that my current gain is rapid and recent? I have always been *round* and though I felt fat - I was OK with it - dressed nicely, etc. Size 10 or 12 is no big deal - it is average and acceptable to me. But X's - I hate it. I also feel like a slug. I just want to fit in regular clothes again. I really think I have done this to sabotage myself after all the stress of the past years - ugly up so I am unattractive. hmmm....I don't ever aim to be thin - it isn't in my genes But pushing 200 pounds at 5'5" is too large for me I am happiest at a plump 150-160.