good thread everyone.

I always though that I'd probably have children "someday" because it was what you do - but someday came and went and here I am, going on 48 years old, with my husband (a wonderful man) and my three kitties.

I always felt so ambivalant - which I figured was not a good enough reason to have kids. I also just don't understand the whole maternal instinct thing - I really think that I just plain lack it.

Its been hard sometimes, my parents came from large families and I have a sister and three brothers and all of them have kids - I feel sometimes like an outsider around them - like they pity me or don't understand me (this could all be in my head, but it is how I feel). I've also had to tolerate a father-in-law who has said on more than one occasion how its too bad that his son isn't a father - that one really stings.

But then just last week, the woman that cuts my hair and who has a grown special needs son commented to me how her generation often had children for the wrong reason and that she had her son for the wrong reason - as a way to salvage a failing marriage.

To all of you who have or want children - that's wonderful and I wish you the very best. For the rest of us, its so nice to hear that we're not alone.