oh dear laura, i thought i was having it tough until i read your post, my heart goes out to you , i would be so scared to, you poor thing, this is going to be really hard going, i wish there was something i could do to help you through this time, just know that i and many others are here for you in any capacity we can be, this is not going to be easy and i can only hope you will make a wonderful recovery and your life will indeed be much better after wards, it is going to take a lot of courage and you are being very brave about it all, thinking of you and wishing you all the best for your upcoming surgery and speedy recovery, keep us posted if you can, take care.