Randi, I think it's just natural that you're now doubting your decision... And yes, it's sad that you didn't have more time with him, a few more days at home to say good bye... But maybe these days would have meant more suffering for Fister, maybe the vets were right; it's always hard to tell. The cuddle session that you had last week, maybe that was his way to say good bye, to let you know how much he loves you. And now he's with John and Pjevs, and - I'm sure - with Phred, and I'm sure all them would tell you not to let this great emptiness fill your heart. I can understand you feel this way, but it will get better - some day....