*giggle* I am so sorry, but this is quite well written and I am giggling and laughing right now! Love the "taking treats but not talking to them" line.

Patch, I am glad you are home, safe and sound. I hope you NEVER put your humans through the worry again. I've been through it, know what it feels like. And if you don't go out, you can't get that dirty to need such a bathing with "stinky stuff."

Was the "whine" a power drill removing screws to get the "top" off the hidey hole?