Quote Originally Posted by king2005 View Post
If the courts tell you to pay it, then just pay it.. don't worry where it goes, or what he does with it... IF they want him to give them the money & he doesn't, the he's gonna be up doo doo creek.

What you should do is stop caring what happens to him, or what he does, or anything about him... This is your chance to start fresh, & you need to erase him the best you can. Its one of the ways to also start to heal... It'll be hard, but you gotta tell yourself that YOU come first & your not going to get sick over doo doo he does or needs to do.
Total pearls of wisdom! If he wants to smoke the $1500, it shouldn't matter to you. Get through the final stages of the paperwork, and stop looking back on what shoulda/coulda/woulda happened. The sooner you can truly give it up, the sooner you can move forward.


I wanted to comment on something Rose said earlier about the benefits of having not just friends, but family to unload to. I don't think families get a free pass here.

I think friends AND family at some point do finally get exhausted by the continuing cycle we ALL play with our past relationships/current situations. When we see and hear the same thing over and over again, with absolutely no ability to change it (since it has happened in the past), it is really tough to stay in close with that person for fear we will say something hurtful. The thing is, we all feel so badly for the person that we see hurting and are so helpless to stop the bleeding, we distance ourselves. Is the distancing right, normal, helpful, loving, nice? Probably not. But, we also have to move forward and live, and we do not want to make things worse by saying what might be, even fleetingly, on our minds.

I would continue to reach out to your friends- common or otherwise. Let them know that you are trying your hardest to not talk all the time about how awful things turned out. But, tell them you need them to help pull you forward at this time. I imagine most would help. I don't think friends really desert you in your hour of need as much as they are at a loss and want to stay out of the direct line of fire.