RIP my beautiful Ash...

[carole]

Thank you so very much my dearest friends, your words are so comforting, even though i am bawling my eyes out right now reading them all, but hey i have been doing that for about four days on and off now, and there will be more to come.

I never imagined it would be this bad, i have three other beautiful kitties to help ease the pain, and that helps, but Ash was my first furbaby in about 18yrs and has been with us so long, it just seems so weird without him, everytime we come up the drive i expect to see him there on the verandah ready to greet us,it feels so empty and i feel lost.

I buried Ash today, i kept him in his little box beside the bed last night, gave him his last pats and told him i loved him so much and then we lay him to rest, i put some of his favourite shredded chicken in with him, he was a huge chicken fan,KFC especially.

I have to tell you i did not want to bury my Ash, i wanted to keep him in his box forever, i only wished i could have,it is the final letting go isn't it which makes it so darn hard.

We had a lovely red rose in the garden, and it is valentines day today here, i put that on his grave and also got some plastic yellow flowers, a wooden star which we can write on and decorate to put on his grave,it is the perfect spot, i can open the ranchslider , and see his grave sitting on the couch,i am always out there with the kitties and i can sit on my swing couch and look at his grave, so i am happy with my choice.

Well my friends i guess it will get easier as the days go by,I hope so, as i just feel so awful right now,one just has to get on with it don't we?

So many things remind me just now of my ole boy,like tonight we are having a roast chicken from the supermarket, we decided to have one every sunday, mainly for Ash's sake, as he adores chicken, he used to make this cute little miaow when i was getting it ready, keep in mind Ash hardly ever talked,and he would reach up with his paws to the bench, just dying to have his weekly feast, we found this was so good for him in the days he was ill, as he would yum it up so much,sadly he could not even eat before he passed, so he was unable to have a last supper .

Time is a great healer.

Everyone here has been wonderful, and have written the most beautiful things to me and about Ash,and to Donna who is going through the same thing right now,you know how hard it is and painful, i am thinking of you and Mooshoo too, gosh Ash is in for a surprise of his life, he had never seen a hairless kitty before wonder what he will think of that? i hope they are going to be good friends.

So much compassion here, even from people i never expected, and that means such a lot to me.

I will now post some pics of my dear boy in his little box, you know he just looked so cute,it is no wonder i did not want to part from him.