There really isn't an answer and EVERY situation is different. I firmly believe it's in God's hands for a reason; our emotions as humans would always get in the way and we would not make the right decision. I have to believe there is a plan.

Having said that; I sympathize greatly with all of you who have had to deal with this issue on a personal level. I have not - my husband and I have lost many members of our families, but none have had dementia in any form. Well, let me clarify: Helen, my mother in law, was riddled with cancer, lived with us for her last year, and was not in her own mind at the end, but her ILLNESS was not dementia, it was cancer. She was disoriented and very hard to calm at times, and had many of the dementia issues, but not all the time.

We have very specific portions of our own wills dealing with the medical finalities; it's a necessity. I'm afraid that's all you can do.