Like Medusa, I am posting only because you posted the email exchange. When I read it I immediately thoughty you were asking permission to be treated poorly (should you change the locks when safety dictates you should, wanting things to work (when you said he wasn't being good to you), needing to make a decision (when he left, a decision HAD been made), and your willingness to let HIS money problems be your 'problem' (you apologized for being uptight about money...no need to apologize for keeping your house in order, IMO).

No one, not even people in recovery (or re-recovery as the case may be) are responsible for other people's feelings. He should own his and you should own yours. It doesn't sound like either one of you are in line with that, and that causes problems. Irrespective of the problems those struggling with addiction might have. .,,,,,,,,(Monte made those comments immediately proceeding, apparently, the 3 square feet of table space wasn't clear enough for him to walk on and he needed to walk acoss the keyboard).

You met him 5 months ago, just curious as to how much 'good time' there has been versus this type of thing. When I hear that someone in his age bracket (if he has 29 years recovery, he is at least 35, right? LOL, maybe he started super, super young? I gave him 5 years before his addictions kicked in) goes MIA, that is a little off, to me. I might have gone MIA at 14 (for 5 hours, he he he), but, at 35? Not likely. And, 29 years into recovery, I would think HE knows the way by then, hit up his sponsor, hit up a meeting, hit up someone that can help him in the immediate crisis. (Don't mean to imply that a 29 year recovered person can't fail, he can, we can, I can (not in an addictive sense, just fail at things in general). But, after 29 years I would think he knew he was headed the wrong way and seek help before, not lay the guilt and drama at another's doorstep.

My short answer? You deserve better, and the sooner you realize it, you will be able to seek out other healthy, happy adults to have a relationship with. He isn't it.