Only one out of my four cats sleeps upstairs with us , and she is always at the bottom of the bed, her little face perched on her pink heart shaped cushion, our electric blanket going underneath her and i cover her with a blanket to keep her warm, in winter time of course, she never wants in the bed or up close, which is good as i am allergic to cats,luckily the others all have their own beds and a spare one downstairs,they have the run of the place at nights down there and can pick and choose where to sleep.

I hope you can resolve your situation amicably for both kitties sake and your boyfriend. good luck.