I am very lucky and still have both my mom and dad who are 88 and 90 and I dread the day they go. So I have no advice to help with that. So first I am going to offer my condolences and to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Since your mother lived with you, you have had a closer relationship with her than many people have with their mothers. I am not talking about loving her more but being used to her being there every day, seeing her, talking to her, giving and receiving those hugs. It is only natural that you are going to feel the pain of her not being there in every room you walk into.

The truth about grief and how you go on is --- you just do. It may not feel good, it may not feel right (after all you lost someone you loved very much and your world has stopped for awhile - why is everyone else's going on like normal?) When our son died 3 1/2 years ago, I definitely was not sure I wanted to go on or could go on. But I had a husband, daughters, granddaughters, sisters, brother, mother, father and friends. So you get up every morning and do all the things you did before. Sometimes it is almost impossible to get out of bed or dressed or go back to work or act normal. But you do. You will never be the same so you find a new you. Your old normal is no more, so you find a new "normal". Find people that you can talk to. Talk to us. If you continue to have trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor. There are medicines to help you sleep that are not addictive. There are medicines for depression to help you feel more in control of yourself again. Don't feel bad about crying - crying is good because it does help work through those feelings of loss. Slowly you will stop crying so much. You won't be missing her less, you will just be able to handle the feelings of loss differently.

It takes time so give yourself that time. Everyone grieves differently and some take longer to grieve. I will be praying for you! PM or email me if you'd like. Diana