Thank you all so much for the nice comments on the pictures of my new place. Oh how I long to be there, to have all this overwith.

I had a setback last night involving my brother. You know, it seems as though the only person I'll be talking to that are actually related to me will be my grandmother.

Sit back and grab some popcorn...here's a story for you all. Audience participation requested as I'm conflicted and really need advice.

OK...First, let me give you a little background information. I had thought my brother, of all people, would understand why I'd want to get the heck out of my parents house. He, about 6 years ago, left our family for over 4 years. He didn't dramatically leave - we all met him on his 21st birthday for breakfast (we as in our whole family: mom, Jerry, me, David, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc.) and shortly afterwards, we never saw him again! He stopped returning our phone calls altogether and his phone was disconnected. We tried his friends, I tried his ex-girlfriend and her family who I KNEW was in contact with him and they refused to help me find him for my wedding (!!!!!) or he just didn't want to come, who knows. He ended up "finding himself" or that's what mom and I call it as when he called 4 years and 6 months later on Easter mid-day, he never offered an explaination. We've had him in our lives again and mom acts as though he's the prodigal son. I get that she doesn't want to do anything to make him go away again, but its like we're reverting back to when we were kids. Kevin always got away with EVERYTHING, I didn't even ATTEMPT to do anything remotely bad and I STILL got in trouble for stupid things.

Anyway, in the past 6 or so months, Kevin hasn't been acting himself...not the Kevin I knew and loved. I think he has a drug problem, he's aggressive, mean, rude and really moody. I went on a "will NEVER, EVER do that again" camping trip with Kevin and Krista in August and it was torture because I didn't drive and was stuck there with him. He picked up and threw my tent accross the campsite, never thanked me for giving them all the money I had (I wasn't working) to my name for extra food (I brought my own), alcohol (I don't drink), and the camping spot which he complained about the entire time, was aggressive with Krista (she's a tiny thing and he's a burly iron worker) and interchanged being RUDE to me or ignored me the entire trip. What horrible act did I do to deserve such treatment? I spoke back when he turned his agression and mean attitude towards ME. (oh no he didn't!!) This was after holding my tongue for the entire ride up there, 2 hours trying to find his friends in a huge, dark camping spot (who finally pulled up after the tent throwing incedent), checking in (with MY money), and him yelling at us for not being able to find his friends and that his cell phone didn't work! I spent the entire weekend without cell service either and ignored by him. Krista, who I thought was smart enough to remain on my side (you know what I mean) was all NICE to him after the oh, 10 blow up fights they had in 36 hours! Not only that, but they would go fishing and I'm thinking I'm a guest and would get to go too...yea, no. They'd pick up the poles Kevin got all ready (they brought 4 and he'd gotten all 4 ready each time) and Krista would say,"OK, Kelly, we're going to go fishing (at this point, I'd stand as if I was taking this as an invite, silly me!) now, so we'll see you later." (doh! OK, guess I'll just stay here then!) Oh what fun I had!!!!!!!!!!!! I sat at a hot, gross campsite. Thankfully, his friends were actually NICE and I spent the time with them. See, I'm not bed, your friends seem to like me, you jerk! Two days later when we got home, Kevin called to say Krista had broken up with him. Hmmmm, I wonder why?

Of COURSE, they're back together and he'll be good for 5 minutes and then be back to his druggie, mean, aggressive, demanding, self. NICE! At TWO of my mom's social functions he's publically fought with Krista (she had manners and tries to get him to stop or at least go outside) and then LEFT the function with her stuck there! All my parents friends see this, or notive Kevin not there and start asking my mom and I questions which utterly humiliate her. She's been saying for a full year that she's "going to have a TALK with him!!" with her stern face on. Yea...that'll happen!

And I do what, to warrant that type of "talk" from my mom? go out on a Sunday with my GRANDMA and stay out till 9:00 or 9:30? Yes, I'm such a bad daughter, so inconsiderate!!!

Anyway, sorry for all that. My posts seem to be getting longer and drama filled. So, I think my brother is still taking whatever the heck drug causes you to be evil, because he's been an utter s*it to me!!

Here's what has happened since my last update on the apartment/escaping plans/issues:

*As I updated you all, I spoke with Krista on Thursday night about my plans and she was very supportive: offering to help me move, to get dads truck so I wouldn't have to encure that cost, telling me that they'd do anything they could to get my parents out of the house for me, etc, etc. We talked some more and I kind of told her about our childhood, something Kevin NEVER talks about to her - isn't that kind of wierd? I mean, NEVER talks about. Who would date someone that wont talk about his childhood, thats what relationships are, the good AND the bad. If anything, at least she'd be able to understand some of the crap he puts her through! I'm just amazed, she's such a mature, smart girl, I don't know why she's wasting her time. (ugh, sorry, wrong thread!!) Anyway, she did say that he told her the reason he wasn't living with or talking to his family when she was with him those years we weren't talking/knew where he was, that he "didn't agree with the rules his mom had" and so "I moved away for awhile". OK, so obviously SOMETHING happened you didn't like. You told Krista that! She told me that she'd let me tell Kevin the good news and that my secret was safe with them, and that she was proud of me and really excited for me.

*That call to Krista was 1 of 4 I made to their phones. 1 each to their cell phones, 1 to the phone in their room and 1 to the main home number - which she picked up. So based on the messages I left, they knew, "I had some really good news I wanted to share with them. To call me so I could tell them the news and that btw, its something I DONT want mom and Jerry to know about." That was Thursday night.

*I'm in my room on Sunday night and my brother calls JUST as my mom and Jerry walk into the house, so I tell Kevin, "I can't talk, but I'm moving out, to an apartment, mom and Jerry CANT know...I can't talk, but I'll text you and call you tomorrow, OK???" I hang up and text him the following: 'Kev, I cant talk now because mom and jerry are home and they ALWAYS seem to listen! I can call u tomorrow to tell u about it? hugs, kelly'

*I leave my phone off during the day...and also when I'm in an appt, going through a line (anywhere)

Gotta go, will finish when I get home...