What you CAN do, Kim, is call the police and press charges.

And leaving - you are in an abusive situation. You have to be safe and stay somewhere so your head can clear.

Please.

ETA: Found this: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Parenting...sive.htm?zIr=5

Expert: Julie Adams
Date: 6/14/2005
Subject: Step Child abusive

Question
I have been with my husband for 4 years and married for 2 years. His 15 year old son lives with us and because of issues caused by this child I am considering a divorce. This child has stolen from members of the family, has destroyed things in the house, has experimented with drugs and alcohol, and can not follow even the simplest house rules. But what has gotten even more disturbing is the porn. Just this year alone there has been over 30 porn movies removed from our house, there has been a time when a 2 liter coke bottle filled with urine was in his closet, as well as a used condom. I have said time and again that this behavior as well as smoking was not allowed in our home. But this child has even looked his father in the face and told him if he did not want to know it was there then to not go in his room. This has gone on for 4 years and many times I have said this was the last time, but I can not take any more. I will not allow this child alone in our home at all any more and it is making life very hard on his father whom constantly blames me. This child has even broke into our bedroom to rent porn on our tv, which is the only tv in the house that has digital access and is kept in our room so that he does not has easy access. I have a 14 year old daughter that I have to keep away from this boy because I don't trust him. What can I do and how can I make my husband see that there is a real problem. This child is also failing in school and his mother will not help at all. It is lucky if we get her to even see her son three days a month. I love my husband but I can not go on with his son's abuse, or the fact that we fight constantly over the issues of what this child is allowed to get away with in our home. Please help!!!


Answer
Dear Tina,
You are dealing with some very serious issues. I read your pain and frustrations. Please know that you CANNOT make anybody change unless they want to. You cannot force behavior that is not prompted by a change of heart/mind.
You have said that you have threatened many times, but have not acted.....that is the key....no one believes you.
My suggestions is that you remove yourself from the situation with the understanding that you want to work things out and that it is imperative that this child seek professional help. I don't blame you that you do not want your daughter to be around this son. That would be a disaster! Go and live with friends/family or your church family. Don't threaten divorce.....just allow yourself some separation time to get your husband and this son jump started toward some help. I admire your strength and courage in such a difficult circumstance.
Write again if you wish.
Julie

And for what it's worth, take a look at this page; read it: http://www.blendingafamily.com/?gcli...FQkxgwoddjU5XA