Just found this thread now. Kuhio98, I don't mean to laugh at your misfortunes, but Oh my God, that was hilarious!

I've never been brave enough to try baking bread from scratch, but I recently baked organic wholegrain scones, and they turned out very much like your bread. Not only were they as hard as diamonds, but they tasted like cardboard and ashes.

Around here, we are too cheap to throw out anything, so all the scones had to be eaten. The procedure is as follows:

1. Laboriously saw each scone in half, using a bread knife.

2. Pile on the butter and jam to make it edible.

3. Chew and swallow scone, being careful not to chip off any tooth enamel.

After a week of this, we fed the rest of the scones to the birds. I can only assume the rain and dew softened the scones to the extent that the birds were able to pick apart and swallow them.

Anyway, the point of all this is, you are not alone!