Anna I am so glad there is a place like Pet Talk also so that you had somewhere to come to pour out your heart. Your post was wrenching and brought back all of those raw feelings that we, who have lost a dog, have felt. I hope you are sleeping finally but it is probably a fitful sleep.

I hope the autopsy will give you the answers. I have only had one dog pass away without knowing the cause. She was dead on my sofa one day after work and I had left a healthy dog in the morning. The vet assumed it was a heart attack but it is more likely that it was bloat. What grieves me to this day is that she, like Emerson, died alone. I am glad you are going ahead with the autopsy. I told the vet I didn't want one but I have wished a zillion times that I had one. I think there is a lot of guilt when the cause is not clear (a lot of 'what could I have done to prevent this?' sort of thinking goes on).

Reading about Malone's reaction is making the tears flow. They were buddies and now he will need to go on alone. Maybe they communicated on some level Anna. Maybe Malone knows that Emm was not feeling well and has already begun mourning. I wish I could give these (((hugs))) to you in person, but please know that we are all here for you in whatever way we can be. Please do post those pictures. I know looking at them will bring the tears but it would be a wonderful memorial to your Emm and the special boy he was.