Donna, if you're looking for closure, you could do some theraputic role-playing. It isn't at all dumb or silly, it's a way to allow healing to take place.
Utilize your imagination & have that phone call with your dad. Say what you need to say, listen to what your heart tells you he is saying. Do this in a quiet setting where you won't be disturbed. Cry, shout, plead, moan, do whatever you have to. Imagine settling all the unsaid business between you. Bless him on his journey, and allow him to go in peace.
I think that we have to let go here in order for them to move on, too. I had a lot of healing work to do when my dad passed away, we were never on good terms while he was alive. I can honestly say that I no longer carry that heavy burden of guilt & remorse. I know he's exactly where he should be, as am I.
((hugs))
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