I'm so sorry that you had to go through that Donna. There are definately extremes In my case my parents were very loving and respectful, even when I did something awful that deserved a spanking. Rather than making me afraid of them, they made sure to show me that they loved me SO much that they were willing to do what it took to get through to me in order to protect me from whatever I was doing. Does that make sense? They didn't spank me when they and I were angry at each other. They spanked me later when I was cool headed enough to understand that they were doing it because they loved me.