I'm a nurse ... these always give me a smile!

You might be a nurse if:
-When someone asks to borrow a pen, you always have two or three on hand.
-When watching daytime TV, you throw something at the screen when the nurses do nothing but flirt with the doctors and answer the telephones.
-When watching prime-time TV, you throw something at the screen when the characters say or do something you know would never happen in the real world.
-You know what the July syndrome is.
-When waiting in line at the supermarket, you find yourself checking out other customers' arm veins.
-Your bladder is the size of the water tank on a Winnebago.
-You screen your calls on your day off, in case it's someone from the hospital calling to ask you to work.
-When using the sink in a public washroom, you scrub your hands for a full minute and turn off the faucet using your elbows.
-You can only tell time with a 24-hour clock.
-You know by heart the phone numbers of every late-night food delivery place in town.
-Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is really no big deal to you.
-You can tell the pharmacist more about the drugs he's dispensing than he can tell you.
-In your favorite dream, you leave a grand mess at a patient's bedside, and tell a doctor to clean it up.