I'm feeling better about this (and I'm regaining my eyesight, which is always a plus, lol) and I feel a little more talking will get me back on track.

As far as talking to someone, I actually did talk to my school counselor a few days ago. I didn't plan on it happening, I just went in there for a quick credit check and it ended up where I told her a shortened version of my whole life story, and to be completely honest, I came out of her office smiling. I felt sooo refreshed to tell someone what I was feeling... I was very happt the rest of the day.

I'm going to do some online research and see what I can find for counselors in my area. After talking to my school counselor I realize that it's okay to talk about this stuff and it actually really helps, despite what I thought before.

I would like to sincerely thank those of you that have posted. Everytime I've posted some rant you all have pushed me to see someone to talk, and i sort of put it off because I felt like I didn't need it. But talking has helped... it's sometimes even better to tell it to someone who doesn't have a biased opinion or already know what's going on.

The thing with Butch and I... it's hard to explain. Like I said, he's like a dad to me and he's just around if I ever need someone to talk to. Like the party thing I mentioned earlier, he gave me some good advice that pushed me towards not going to the party. He's just watching out for me. I understand that he IS significantly older than me, but I've always been an "age is just a number" person. It wouldn't matter if he was 22 or 82-- if I am attracted to a person's personality, I'm not afraid to talk. I was a VERY shy kid and I still am pretty shy, and I have always found myself connecting with the people older than me (as on here, PT) because they just seem soo much more mature than a lot of kids in my generation. I prefer maturity over humility. I've just always been more drawn to adults than kids my age. *shrugs* Soo, Butch and I? Don't worry about it. We joke and have fun. I work for him so he can go out and do stuff on his own. 9 hours a day at a snowcone stand everyday of the week gets very old very fast.

I'm a big girl. I know what I'm getting myself into and what I need to stay out of. Its alll gooddd. Thank you very much for the concern, though. I appreciate it.