I am so sorry Carole, unfortunately it is almost "cool" for the kids to cut themselves it seems so it is hard to tell who is saying that to be cool and who is in serious danger. Being a teen is a hard confusing time, your daughter has always reminded my of my youngest who is the easy one for me so I am pretty surprised.

I would set up an appt for some family counseling, it will surely help all of you to at least open the lines of communication.