English. How many years does it take to learn that a noun is a person/place/thing, a verb is an action, and all the other little bits of the english language?

Also, I've always hated analyzing books. I love a story Heinlein told, he was sitting in a class, listening to one of his books get analyzed, and he stood up, interrupted the prof, and told the prof that what the prof was saying wasn't what the author meant at all. When asked for proof of how he knew what the author meant, Heinlein simply stated "I am the author", an left the prof with his jaw on the floor.