Kim, I am so sorry for you. What a terrible terrible situation you are in.

First thing: I would not teach her driving. It really is the wrong message. "If you get into trouble it isn't your mistake and responsability, you even will get benefits from it."

Next thing: She is your hubby's daughter in the first range. I admire that you can see her fully as your daughter too- I never managed that with my stepdaughter. Apart from that it is unfair to both of you if your husband just stands there not wanting to get into it and goes away for months.

The ones who would need a break from each other are you and your daughter.

It is important to work that out with your husband first. Your daughter now gets a benefit from the fact that your husband and you don't talk with one voice- that is really bad.

If the situation is really stuck you may need professional help to solve it.

All the best for you. Keeping my fingers crossed.