About Grandparents.....

[carole]

I really did not know how to head this thread, but I feel I need to share an emotional pain that has been with me for 23 years.

My parent's are good kind , caring people, they are generous to a fault, but they are just not there for my children as other grandparents.

It is something that has saddened me for years,and is a deep heartache, they care for my children so much, they will buy them things, but have never interacted much, like looking after them, doing things with them.

My mother alway's said she had trouble relating to boys, as she only ever had girls, but Hello, both my sister and I had a daughter, even though my sister does not live in the same city as my parents, and I do, my children have had just as little time as her's have.

My son did get more attention than the other grandchildren, when I was a solo parent, we used to go on holiday every year for two weeks with my parents, and I was ever grateful for that, but still my father was not what you would call a father figure for him.

I feel my parent's never had grandparents themselves and have never learned those skills, I also feel they have just become a bit selfish with their time, which they have plenty of.

I did have it out with my mother once, and believe me it was hard to do, they took my daughter out for a day after that, but that was short lived , never happened again.

I see grandparents with their grandchildren, and my heart just feels heavy that mine have not wanted to share those moments.

I have never been one to use them as babysitters, infact I could count on my fingers the amount of time they have looked after my children in over 23 years.

I have just got to accept that at least I am fortunate enough that financially they are willing and able to help.

I never had grandparents either, or aunties and uncle, only an adopted aunt and uncle, so for me it was great to know my kids had grandparents.

I guess my biggest fear is if I am ever lucky enough to have grandchildren ,I might be the same, I hope not, and will try not to be, but it does worry me.

My point of this thread is to share my feelings, which I have kept to myself for many years, apart from sharing with my partner, and to see if anyone else has this situation and how they deal with it, because it does eat away at me,although I accept it is just the way it is going to be,its a little late now.

Thanks for listening.