Latest episode about my Stepdad - so annoying!

[catmandu]

That is incredibly RUDE , and I am betting if Lily , and Luna did get out , he woulddnt bother , to try and get them back , in. Are there no other people that you can call , on. If I was closer , I would help out , gladly!

[carole]

Kirsten I may well be way off base here, but it almost sounds like he has jealousy issues, maybe of the relationship you have with your mother or the cats, just a thought, people often behave in very strange ways, still he is behaving badly, and no excuses for it, shame on him, take care Dear and I hope someone else can help out, rather than this man who has no respect for your wishes.

[RICHARD]

One drawback in a situation like this is, that more often than not
a parent will side with their partner.

By complaining to mom you risk alienating her.

One thing you may want to consider is to let the chores that can be left alone, alone.

Focus on the things that NEED to be done.

A few extra days between vacumning won't end the world..You will notice it but it's no reason to get upset.

You need to show him that his thoughtlessness DOES NOT BOTHER you. He feeds off of that and it makes him think he is being cute.

It's like a monkey that pushes a button in his cage that makes him laugh. You can either let him push it for his entertainment, or unplug it...

You have the power in your hands...

Good Luck and feel better

[jazzcat]

Originally posted by RICHARD

It's like a monkey that pushes a button in his cage that makes him laugh. You can either let him push it for his entertainment, or unplug it...

You have the power in your hands...

Good Luck and feel better

LOL!! Well said Richard! I think your advice is a great way to handle this.

[CatMama78]

Originally posted by carole
Kirsten I may well be way off base here, but it almost sounds like he has jealousy issues, maybe of the relationship you have with your mother or the cats,

I was thinking the same thing. Not to go all Freudian on you, but it almost sounds like he's trying to get your attention. Obviously not the good way to go about it, but some people do not understand how to act or how to express emotions. And those that do not share our love of animals, have absolutely no comprehension of how important our babies are to us and I think it may make some even angry, (oh it's just an animal, I'll teach you a lesson attitude! It's awful, yet true. So maybe in a warped way, he is acting this way out of jealousy of your feelings for Luna and Lily. Doesn't matter though, a parent should be able to respect their adult children's wishes and house rules, unconditionally.

[Kirsten]

Well, I think it could really be something like that.... Not sure if it's really jealousy, but maybe something similar to that, at least I'm getting the impression he tries to stirring up things by upsetting me about the way he disrespects my love for the cats.

You're right, I should just ignore that, that way he will probably lose interest.

BTW, I wouldn't invite them at all if I wouldn't depend on their help at the moment. Like I said; Gabi, my neighbor who was also looking after the cats when I was in hospital, is sick at the moment, so she cannot help me as much as it was planned. And I'm not in the financial postion to pay anyone to help me.
Guess I'm doing more things myself meanwhile than it is good for my back, but now my mother has promised to come here on Monday to clean my place - without him!!

Kirsten

[lynnestankard]

Kirsten this is awful so very gentle {{{{hugs}}}} across the miles.
Everyone's being so polite and saying how rude he is - sorry I think he's a complete moron.

I think Carole and Richard have stated things very succinctly (sp?)
jealousy seems to fit the bill and don't let him push your buttons.
He has to learn that in your house he does things your way.

I'm so pleased your Mum is coming without him on Monday. Maybe she too has realised he's gone too far.

Lynne

[gini]

Kirsten, I knew someone like your step-dad once and he would do or say things just to get people around him upset. He was a person totally self absorbed.

I agree with Lynne - everyone is being so polite about their opinions of your step-dad. My own opinion is that he is CRUEL.

It is wonderful that they are helping you out financially, but they do not own you - and they have no right to try to run your life.

If you chose to live alone with your cats, then it is your RIGHT. If they do not understand your life style, then they don't and they probably never will.

If he is cruel to you, he is probably cruel to others as well. Perhaps even to your Mom - but she doesn't tell you that.

He is on a power trip - don't give him that power. If it is possible to close the kitties up in your bedroom when they come over, then I would do that.

Come to us and vent anytime you like - you have been through a lot - and are still going through a lot - and you know that all of us care.

[NoahsMommy]

I'm glad your mom is coming alone this time. People like that are of no use to you if they aren't going to help. I hate closeminded, immature people.

If you're ever in that situation again, I agree with whomever said to put the cats in one room with a closed door while he's there. It'll show him you can trust him, without saying as much and it'll show you are the adult and have found a solution to a problem.

I'm sorry he was such a jerk, Kirsten. You don't need that right now.

How are you feeling, by the way?

[Kirsten]

Yes, I think it's the best to have the cats in a seperated room the next time he's showing up here. Lily doesn't like him anyway, he once got her startled and now she's always hiding when he's here.

Actually I don't think he's cruel to my mom, it's just that he doesn't respect animals (and my decision to live with them). Doesn't surprise me that his own cat is so mean btw!

But I think the main reason is that they just cannot accept that I prefer to live on my own. They just don't think that it's normal and I better do not mentioned the comments I'm hearing from them regarding that matter. Totally disrespectful!

Kirsten