Sad Update

[NicoleLJ]

What they said about my therapist was not a differing point of opinion. It was not taking the time to read the post properly. I can understand people saying they disagree and they would live on the street rather then give up their pets and all that, That is their opinion. But they were judging someone they did not even know. Along with not knowing all the facts and still not knowing all the facts. THat would take hours and pages. I know this is a pet forum. THis is a pet topic.

I volunteered in rescue for 12-13 years. There are times when people really do have no choice but to rehome their pets. I am not giving mine over to a rescue. I am trying to rehome them myself. It is not like I decided out of the blue I was bored with them. I do not look at my babies that way. I hate the state of affiars my husband has left me in not caring one whit what happens to us. Bad things happen to good people and pets whether we like it or not. Or whether we expect it or not.

[shepgirl]

I agree with what Mary said.

Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

That, right there, is friendship.

Very well said jenn.

Nicole you posted in August trying to find a foster home for Luca and you were told by friends that it would be better to rehome him then as older pets are harder to rehome. You got upset with that. 3 months later you are back looking for a home for him. You have to admit that you change your mind so often that it gets hard to follow the drama each time. You needed a home for Luca but went out and bought kittens..now the kittens are too much..etc etc. It's only been 3 mos since you were taking holidays, enjoying yourself and supposed to be moving to Canada, but you say you have been agonizing over the decision for months. It is very hard to know where you're at from one minute to the next.

I just said that as an animal lover and owner I feel my animals are as important as my kids and I would never give them up . Also you said all your therapists approved of the animals, now you say different. Isn't getting rid of the animals teaching kids that pets are a disposable item when the going gets rough?

[NicoleLJ]

Your so right Shep becuase you were there when he beat the living hell out of me in August. I had no idea before we moved that this would all happened. And by the way as you know I have always lived in Canada. You know everything about my life don't you because you don't hve one of your own.

You want to know what I have been doing all morning? hmmmm. My sweet and wonderful husband who was supose to be in jail till tuesday is now out today. He had the police pick up his stuff. First he wanted to come with them. NOT. SO I am dealing with just a TAD bit of stress.

If you love my life so much and know it so well then why don't you come live it for me because right now I am so at the end of my rope you have not idea,

[Husky_mom]

I´m sorry you are going through all of this... and I do get your point... it´s really hard having less ins than outs (of money/expenses)... and more hard to think that you still have to provide for all involved...

In my position i too would say I wouldn´t rehome.. but I just don´t know.. if I were in the same situation I would still consider... maybe not if I had a nice paying job and we struggled.... but it I were drowning that´s another story...

things add up, and not knowing all the facts can be hard to understand, because it might not be what you´d do (not directed to anyone specifically) but it it what she NEEDS to do... not what the wants or likes... she has come to the conclusion she needs this done otherwise as I get it she´ll get caught in an avalanche of problems, struggles for $, evolving in struggles for food and medical care (human and furry)...

I´m sorry it has come to this... and I know it´s pretty hard on you... and be sure I won´t make it harder on you... if you need me I´m all support... I don´t need to know all the facts or be there every sec on your life and i don´t have to agree with you 100% (life is not all pink) but I´m here for you.... hang in there.. a way will come...

[shepgirl]

Your so right Shep becuase you were there when he beat the living hell out of me in August. I had no idea before we moved that this would all happened. And by the way as you know I have always lived in Canada. You know everything about my life don't you because you don't hve one of your own.

You want to know what I have been doing all morning? hmmmm. My sweet and wonderful husband who was supose to be in jail till tuesday is now out today. He had the police pick up his stuff. First he wanted to come with them. NOT. SO I am dealing with just a TAD bit of stress.

If you love my life so much and know it so well then why don't you come live it for me because right now I am so at the end of my rope you have not idea,

Absolutely right, I was not there. But you knew and had posted about trouble brewing and I just wondered why add kittens to the menagerie when you already couldn't keep Luca.
Yes, you lived in Canada but posted you were moving to Ontario. It is hard to keep up with the posts when things change so drastically every day. You also posted about a wonderful holiday in August. Hard to know what is going on right?
No one condemmed you for giving up the pets, some of us are just more committed and don't see it the same way. Everyone feels differently about their animals. I for one couldn't give any up and I would never bring more home unless my lifestyle permitted it. I also would never breed and add to the stress when advised it was the wrong decision. Lots of your friends tried to tell you this. As they tried to tell you to rehome Luca when you wanted a boarding home for him.
Our lives are all different and so are our decisions. Some can give up pets, some feel they are family is all I'm saying. And I never do impulse buying for that reason.
I also have friends who go through violent breakups so the animals are what keeps them sane.

[Catty1]

Okay, so if Nicole did make mistakes in getting the kittens, for whatever reason - does anyone here have friends near western Canada who might take them?

I've had to clean up after my own mistakes, and it sometimes means cutting my losses in order to move on. I disagree that there are people who "can give up their pets" and those who are committed. That is too black-and-white. There are many shades of grey in such a huge and heartbreaking decision.

When people have help to look at the mistakes, and find they HAVE to cut losses, not that they want to or are any less committed, they deserve help and support (which many here have given), and offers if possible.

[Medusa]

(life is not all pink)

I really like that. Simple and to the point. Care if I use it?

[buttercup132]

Where in Canada are you?

[Emeraldgreen]

I'm sorry that all this is happening. It is an awful lot to sort through for one person and I hope that you will find the strength to come through it.
I don't know the history behind the cats or the dogs but I gather that some new additions are now too much to financially handle.
My thought is that if everyone in your family can be given the chance to live the best possible life, then it is the best outcome to seek out. If you are stressed and upset around the animals (as I'm sure many of us would/could be under similar circumstances) and the animals are living a life that is not complete or healthy (emotionally/physically due to your stress or lack of vet care when needed or even food) and if you think this won't change anytime soon then maybe it is better for everyone involved if one or two have new homes, new futures.
I can only imagine how heart breaking it would be to have to give up a pet, I've never done it and I pray that I never have to face a decision like that. But I do know that if I could find a home for a much loved pet, where I could be sure they would be safe and loved and have much a better life than they would with me and a home that would give me updates and perhaps let me see them down the road to be sure they are safe, then it might be the way to go.
If it means that your life, the life of your kids and the life of the animals, the ones rehomed and the ones that stay, will be better, then I see how this could make sense.
Of course, no one can know for sure if a new home will be better and safe and that is what is difficult. If the cat/s are of a special breed, maybe they could go to a breed rescue org that would hopefully ensure that they go to the right home.
It's hard because like so many others have said, I don't know if I could give my pets up, they are the world to me but if my world was falling apart all around me, I don't know what my decisions would be. If I lived in a home that I couldn't afford and I couldn't find other lodgings because I had too many pets and I became 'stuck' in a place where my ex could potentially come and cause me, my family and my pets harm, then a change may be what is needed for quality of life for everyone, including the 4 legged ones.

The only other thing that seems like a solution would be to find housing that would accept the number of pets you have with a lower rent. Maybe that is close to impossible to find but it 'could' be out there. I will pray that if there is such a place, that it somehow crosses your path so you can find a way out of this situation. And that you and your kids and all your pets will always be safe and protected, no matter what your decision. Hang in there. Everyone who has posted cares what happens and we all have our thoughts on how we would approach the situation but it seems evident that everyone who has posted is hoping for a good outcome.

[shepgirl]

I really like that. Simple and to the point. Care if I use it?

I think that is the nicest way to put it husky girl. I think I'll use that too.

Lots of people on a forum and I'm sure every one of us have our own demons to fight off...no one has the perfect life (I wish).

[NicoleLJ]

So I can understand that everyone has differing opionins till they have walked in the others shoes but can i at least have an apology for what was said about my therapist. She is a wonderful caring woman who works only with domestic violence cases. And I can call her at almost any time I need too. Your comments(esspecially Shepgirls) were unwarrented even if it was a misunderstanding.
I await your responds
Nicole

[NicoleLJ]

Buttercup I am in Alberta

[jennielynn1970]

No one said anything nasty about your therapist. Why would anyone have to apologize about her??

You posted, you got upset when opinions were stated, even when most were nice (I said most), and now you want more drama. Why??


That being said.....

I hope you find a good home for Luka, and for the kitties. I wish you all the luck with getting a place and hopefully landing back on your feet to care for your kids. I don't think anyone would wish you differently.

Just let it rest, unless you want the drama.

[NicoleLJ]

Shep girl Wrote "You're absolutely right Cataholic - no therapist, psychologist or counsellor would ever consider telling someone that. On the contrary, they would encourage you to keep their animals when they brought comfort and stability in someone's life. If I ever took this action I would be as sleepless as you for the rest of my life."

"But meanwhile, no one in a medical profession tells a patient this unless for physical ailments such as rashes , allergies, which a person would be smart enough to know if owning the first animal."



Jenn_Librarian wrote:
"I would never "get rid" of any of my animals based on a therapist or doctor recommendation. And it was recommended. Not happening. I've got a limited income at this point, but I'll deal. But, that being said, is my choice. My choice wouldn't necessarily be your choice or Nicole's choice, or anyone else's choice. Everyone's position is different."



As you have all since realized it was not recomemded. I came to the conclusion myself with the help of my therapist in several sesions. This is why I what an apology. Not drama. Why is asking for an apology for my friend and therapist, which is warrented, considered drama, yet the cruel things that shepgirl has stated all twisted by the way has not been. Interesting.

[jennielynn1970]

oh who cares what she said. if you don't like it, block her or don't read her stuff.

I said I made the decision for myself. My doctor (allergist) recommended me getting rid of the cats. My therapist said "go and volunteer some more"... I do that and I'll have more cats. SO.... you have to take things with a grain of salt. I decided to volunteer with the elderly. More than likely I can't adopt one of them and take them home with me, lol!

I didn't mean anything untoward about your therapist. You do what is right for you. You said you were making that decision for yourself.

I just don't get all the drama you want to keep bringing up.


and here I am feeding into it. Sigh.