Surviving a desperate time.....

[moosmom]

I have a journal I write in. It's helped me alot along with the love of my friends, PT pals and family. Every year on my dad's anniversary, I write a letter to my Dad and seal it. I have 10 letters written to him that I've never opened.

[king2005]

- Talking to some of my friends about whats bothering me (I love my online friends).

- Hanging & talking to my buddy Joe. I don't know what it is with us, but we run to the other for comfort. It works great for us. When I was in that bad situation with Chad, he would invite me over until the wee hours of the night. We would hardly talk. We would just sit in the darkness of his room watching our cartoons. We don't have to talk to each other to get totally relaxed. Just being in the same room alone, or my car, its sooooo relaxing.

- Snuggling up to Digi my puppy makes all my worries go away. Just coming home to her puts me in the best of best moods. Going to sleep with her beside my bed allows me to sleep with no issues & I wake up to butt wiggles & loving. Its such an awesome feeling

[crow_noir]

What a wonderful idea for a thread!

Ones that you listed that help me include the crying in the shower. It really can wash away the sadness. Even just simple stress.

Petting a loved pet.

Other things ...

Going for a walk. Starting out with determination in your step as if you have a destination that you have to arrive at NOW. Let the anger or sadness flow through you and your steps, let it seep out.

Sitting with a loved tree usually is paired with the walk. Sitting there and talking to it. Listening to the wind and the birds. I mean after all... is a tree going to be judgmental? o.O

Working out in the garden. Doing anything rhythmic with the hands help. Rhythmic and physical. I can't explain it, it's another one of those primal things that just come naturally.

Writing and drawing used to always help me too. If you have something you're passionate about... let those thoughts get out of your head. Let the paper take them from you. You don't have to show them to anyone, you can destroy it later or save them to examine them when you're feeling a bit better. They can help you figure out yourself.

I also know someone who showed a LOT of emotional improvement when they started a physical hobby that had no strings attached (no peer pressure, etc.) In this case it was a martial art. (It was as if he had gone on medication or someone waved a magic wand.)

Also, this may sound silly... but a cup of hot cocoa. It's been my little miracle ever since a bad break up years ago. NOTHING was consoling me... and then my friend and i decided to have some hot cocoa and make a few silly phone calls... the hot cocoa did the trick. I've repeated it when other sad times came up... it works. Not for REALLY bad stuff... then it only helps a *tiny* bit.

[RobiLee]

Good thread with lots of good ideas.

I have been in a really bad way for the past year now. It is still hard but I am finally starting to see some light.

For a long time I shut out my friends and wouldn't talk to them. I seem to shut down in a big way when I am hurting. Now I have learned to open up and just talk about my feelings. I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for these wonderful friends. I realize now how lucky I am to have these people in my life.

So now I survive by:

Relying on my wonderful PT friends who are my REAL friends. They have stuck by me no matter what I have done. Almost every morning I have an email waiting for me at work from a very special friend that helps to start my day off right. There are lots of times when I write back whining and complaining and she hangs in there and helps me make it through the day.

Relying on my parents. I have put my parents through hell and we have fought and cried together and they are always there for me.

I do some online journaling which I have to admit is usually very negative and full of bad thoughts. I have a few friends on that list that are always there to just let me know they are around and send out some hugs for me. One special friend is always there with a quick call to make sure I'm ok and still around when I get really bad.

My dogs. "My girls". Dear Lord, I don't know where I would be without them. They are here for me every day. I am ashamed to admit that when Alden first left me and I sank into this severe depression that my girls drove me nuts. Sometimes I couldn't even stand them. They were a part of him. "He" got the dogs for me. I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. Now I don't know what I would do without them. I hate that I can't take them every where with me. They make me feel loved and loved unconditionally. They make me feel safe. I don't think anyone is going to bother me with my two girls around...lol...especially my Katie Girl. I love my girls, Katie and Tori! They are wonderful!

This one is kind of embarrassing but I also survive by trying to look in the mirror and tell myself that "I am a strong and beautiful woman". Along with that I try to name a few good things about myself both physical beauty and inner beauty. That one is super hard to do when your self esteem has been completely shattered. I'm supposed to name several things on both sides but I can't seem to name any. The only thing I can seem to say easily on the physical part is that I have pretty eyes and I only say that because I have heard that my whole life so I guess it is true...lol. Can you look at yourself and say 5-7 good things about your physical beauty and 5-7 good things about your inner beauty? I find it so difficult.

I survive by reading this scripture every day. I have it on my desk here and on my desk at work:

For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
JEREMIAH 29:11

Writing all of this is also a way of surviving for me. Thanks for letting me share and sorry that I get so windy when I am writing or typing something out. I'm actually a quiet person and don't talk much in person...lol.

{{{HUGS TO YOU ALL}}}

[caseysmom]

Robilee, Big hugs...I know you have been trough hell, that took a lot of courage to talk about. How you felt about the girls it just shows how complicated we are in our emotional states I am glad they are a comfort to you now. Just remember you have worth and there is someone out there to love who will find more than 7 things to love inside and out.

[RobiLee]

Robilee, Big hugs...I know you have been trough hell, that took a lot of courage to talk about. How you felt about the girls it just shows how complicated we are in our emotional states I am glad they are a comfort to you now. Just remember you have worth and there is someone out there to love who will find more than 7 things to love inside and out.

Thank you. See another sweet PT friend! Thanks for your support and encouragement.

[Alysser]

Good thread with lots of good ideas.

I have been in a really bad way for the past year now. It is still hard but I am finally starting to see some light.

For a long time I shut out my friends and wouldn't talk to them. I seem to shut down in a big way when I am hurting. Now I have learned to open up and just talk about my feelings. I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for these wonderful friends. I realize now how lucky I am to have these people in my life.

So now I survive by:

Relying on my wonderful PT friends who are my REAL friends. They have stuck by me no matter what I have done. Almost every morning I have an email waiting for me at work from a very special friend that helps to start my day off right. There are lots of times when I write back whining and complaining and she hangs in there and helps me make it through the day.

Relying on my parents. I have put my parents through hell and we have fought and cried together and they are always there for me.

I do some online journaling which I have to admit is usually very negative and full of bad thoughts. I have a few friends on that list that are always there to just let me know they are around and send out some hugs for me. One special friend is always there with a quick call to make sure I'm ok and still around when I get really bad.

My dogs. "My girls". Dear Lord, I don't know where I would be without them. They are here for me every day. I am ashamed to admit that when Alden first left me and I sank into this severe depression that my girls drove me nuts. Sometimes I couldn't even stand them. They were a part of him. "He" got the dogs for me. I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. Now I don't know what I would do without them. I hate that I can't take them every where with me. They make me feel loved and loved unconditionally. They make me feel safe. I don't think anyone is going to bother me with my two girls around...lol...especially my Katie Girl. I love my girls, Katie and Tori! They are wonderful!

This one is kind of embarrassing but I also survive by trying to look in the mirror and tell myself that "I am a strong and beautiful woman". Along with that I try to name a few good things about myself both physical beauty and inner beauty. That one is super hard to do when your self esteem has been completely shattered. I'm supposed to name several things on both sides but I can't seem to name any. The only thing I can seem to say easily on the physical part is that I have pretty eyes and I only say that because I have heard that my whole life so I guess it is true...lol. Can you look at yourself and say 5-7 good things about your physical beauty and 5-7 good things about your inner beauty? I find it so difficult.

I survive by reading this scripture every day. I have it on my desk here and on my desk at work:

For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
JEREMIAH 29:11

Writing all of this is also a way of surviving for me. Thanks for letting me share and sorry that I get so windy when I am writing or typing something out. I'm actually a quiet person and don't talk much in person...lol.

{{{HUGS TO YOU ALL}}}

Glad to hear you're doing better, Robin. ((((hugs)))) I am so glad that your pups have helped you heal so much!

[sirrahbed]

For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
JEREMIAH 29:11

Robin - this is my absolute favorite Bible verse. I have this and several others written on index cards to read quickly when I haven't had the heart to actually open my Bible and read. Thank you for sharing this one

The way I memorized it is from my NASB version:
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope'.

[carole]

Honestly turning to PT has helped me get through some worrying times, i am always grateful for the advice,emotional support and cheering up that everyone has contributed to over my years here on PT,I find it much easier to express myself on online than in person, I can share so much here in a way that i just cannot do in real life,so to everyone who has helped me here in the past a huge thank you.

My cats are so important to me in my life, and have bought me so much joy and happiness, i never knew just how much they would enrich my life, i have always loved animals, but have a new understanding and approach to them in my older years that has made me a much better, giving person.,they are always there for me in times of despair, fustration or low times.,even if they don't understand,their unconditional love for me helps me through the tough times.

Knowing there is always someone worse off than me in the world, only works for me sometimes, if i am having a bad day with severe pain,and everything has gone to custard, that saying only infuriates me,but there are days when i think exactly of that saying and how true it is and I am thankful to be as lucky as I am,and almost feel ashamed at myself for feeling as I do.,so yes that saying has it's positives and it's negatives.

[slick]

I have been in a really bad way....For a long time I shut out my friends and wouldn't talk to them. I seem to shut down in a big way when I am hurting.

RobiLee: I'm there right now but for different reasons. I can relate.

I try to name a few good things about myself both physical beauty and inner beauty. That one is super hard to do when your self esteem has been completely shattered. I'm supposed to name several things on both sides but I can't seem to name any. Can you look at yourself and say 5-7 good things about your physical beauty and 5-7 good things about your inner beauty? I find it so difficult.

There is absolutely no way I could do this...whether or not I'm in a good frame of mind. Congratulations girl for taking on this very difficult task.

RobiLee: I have been going through some of my own "stuff"...among other things, potentially more cancer treatment. I think of you often....how you posted that you only had two more treatments left...then one more...then you were done. To me you are among the strongest people I know and believe it or not, you are an inspiration to me. Thank you.

I'm keeping an watchful eye on this thread so I can pick up some pointers. Thanks to everyone who have shared their experiences.

[Logan]

I feel so proud to know all of you. Many of you have fought through tough situations and a lot of demons and you SURVIVED!!!!! You SURVIVED!!!! Kudos to all of you. What an inspiration you are to the rest of us.

Why we, as women, are so self critical, I'll never understand. But, I am the exact same way. I have never met most of you face to face, but I can name 5-100 things about you that I love and cherish, just from "meeting" you through your words.

We have to hang tough, never losing sight of our own self, as we "give" to others, whether it be our spouse, children, friends, extended family and our pets. I'm learning, slowly, but surely, that if I'm not ok with me, I'm not going to be ok with a lot of things.

Logan