Did I do the wrong thing?
I am the first person to get to work on Saturday mornings. I work taking care of the dogs from 8am to noon. There is just one other person there with me during the time frame. She does the cat stuff. I pulled into work around 7:15. I like to get there early so I can spend extra time with the stressed dogs. As I parked my car, I looked to the side and saw the most disturbing site. There was a dog pressed up against the fence moaning. Right beside her was a turned over crate with a loud wailing sound coming from it. As I approached, I saw the dog was leaning so close to the fence because the rope she was tied with would strangle her if she tried to lay down. She had to lean into the fence to give herself enough slack to breathe. She was shaking so much. It was a mixture of being terrified, cold, and so sick. She was wet from the morning drizzles. I looked under the crate near her and saw a frightened black cat with the same piercing eyes as Shiloh. I lost it. I couldn't stop crying and yelling for someone to help even though there was no one around.
I managed to stop and get the dog cut from the fence. I rushed her inside and set her up on a huge blanket in an empty room. I ran back out to get the cat and set him up too. The cat was in good shape so after I gave him food and water, I rushed back to the dog. I immediately started talking to her and just started calling her Angel. Her eyes expressed a lifetime of pain and sadness. She was in so much pain on every square inch of her body. She had massive tumors (the size of baseballs) that were bubbling up with puss and scabs all over her. She was literally covered in fleas. When I brushed my hands through her hair, I had a hard time finding skin among all the fleas and flea dirt. Her hair was thinning and matted and missing in some spots. I went to pet her ears and heard a squishing sound. I looked in and saw the dirtiest ears I have ever seen in my life. The smell of yeast and ... whatever else it was.... almost made me pass out, it was so strong. Her toenails were so long, they were curling under themselves. She let out soft whimpers of pain as I was trying to inspect her body, but she never once tried to snap at me. She looked at me like she trusted me. All I could think was how could a creature still trust the human race after being treated so poorly.
I called the President of the Board and of course I was ordered to take the dog to animal control. I would NEVER in a million years have done that. No dog deserves to go there and die in an awful way. They would have taken her, thrown her in a cold, metal cage with no toys or blankets. They would have let her lay there suffering for three days then taken her out, dragged her down the aisle and killed her. The stress and heartache in that place would have killed her alone. I sat with that dog so long wondering how I was going to help her. When the manager (who is my friend and the one who got me the job) finally got to work, I ran to her screaming and crying. She was so helpful. We were flushing out Angel's ears and trying to pick fleas off to make her as comfortable as possible. But then we both just looked at each other thinking the same thing. This dog needed to be free of the pain and sadness. She needed to go to a place where she can run freely and there's no cruelty, ignorance, or hate.
I gave her 2 cans of the best tasting dog food I could find in there. She really liked it and wagged her tail once or twice. She couldn't do it too much because I think it hurt to. We loaded her in the car and took her to the vet. I kissed her on her head and told her I was so sorry and that soon she would be very happy. Then I had to leave. I feel like the worst person in the world for not staying with her as she left the world. I think my friend might have stayed with her but I dont know. I had to run outside and wait.
I paid to have her put to sleep. And I feel like it might not have been the right thing. Maybe I should have had them try to help her. I feel like the whole thing is my fault. Like I was supposed to have done something else. I also feel like I could seriously harm the people who did this to her. I feel so much sadness, hurt, and anger from today. I sort of have a peaceful feeling at the same time though. Maybe its her telling me she's okay. The cat is doing fine now and we are keeping him at the shelter. He will be up for adoption in a week or two after health evaluations.
I sent an angel to heaven today 
Alyson
Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya
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