He contacted me again, what do I do?

[king2005]

I dated a guy named Shawn from May 2006-June 2006. I dumped him as his drugs, drinking, & being fired left right & centre was not the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

At first I was trying to be nice to him & saying no & where he went wrong & how & where to get help. This went on for a couple months. Then he dissapeared, YAY!! Then he returned, poo... Every few weeks he'd message me. I started getting nasty at him, as I had had enough & wanted him to just go away & stop making new msn accounts as I keep blocking his.

Then he dissapeared for 3-4 months & I totally forgot about it & didn't have to worry about what messages I'd find on my MSN...

Well hes returned

This is along the lines of what he said... "I just returned from rehab & I have a job"...

He just doesn't get it... He cannot take back what he did & I don't want him back.

I'm really considering talking to the police, but I don't want to at the same time, cause hes not messaging me everyday & hes not being an asshat either. hes just bagging me to take him back & that hes changed (he says that in every post & said that when I was with him... I'm sure they are lies)... I don't want the police hounding him or his family, unless he becomes agressive or is really harassing me...

He has no idea where I live & my phone # has been dissconnected (not cause of him, I no longer needed it). But he knows where I work (unless hes fried his brain & forgot)...


GAH!!! What on earth do I do?

[Catlady711]

If it were me I'd change my msn name, even though it's a hassle, so you don't have to hear from him again, and then if he shows up at either your workplace or home then call the police. But that's just me.

Good luck

[Queen of Poop]

Tell him that you have no interest in him and ask him to leave you alone. Also tell him that if he fails to heed your wishes you will contact the police. If you hear from him again after that you will have to follow thru and contact the police and have them handle it.

Please, please don't get caught up with him again. Be strong. You've moved on!

[IRescue452]

Change your msn name, but keep the old one in so that you don't have to change all the accounts that the email is attached to. If he continues or starts to contact you more often definately contact the police, better safe than sorry.

[king2005]

If it were me I'd change my msn name, even though it's a hassle, so you don't have to hear from him again, and then if he shows up at either your workplace or home then call the police. But that's just me.

Good luck

Thats the problem, I cannot change my MSN.. I am kingrattus all over the internet & have been for nearly 8yrs now... I was kingrattus here too, but I wont go there... Everything I have & do is Kingrattus... I love Kingrattus & cannot part with it because of a guy... GAH... this sucks, why couldn't he just have stayed away

[king2005]

Tell him that you have no interest in him and ask him to leave you alone. Also tell him that if he fails to heed your wishes you will contact the police. If you hear from him again after that you will have to follow thru and contact the police and have them handle it.

Please, please don't get caught up with him again. Be strong. You've moved on!

No worries I'll never hook up with him again!!! I don't do break up, go out, break up, go out.. once its over, its over! I'm more so annoyed & honestly did forget he even exzisted...

I told him I'll call the cops on him if he contacts me again.. he dissapeared for a month & started again... Thats when I started saying nasty nasty things to him.. like calling him poor white trash & other heartless things... didn't work..

I even told him I was dating Chad & we were having a baby together... that didn't work either...

I'm so not a police person. I don't think the police will even care cause hes not threatening me, & hes not messaging me all the time...

[Queen of Poop]

No worries I'll never hook up with him again!!! I don't do break up, go out, break up, go out.. once its over, its over! I'm more so annoyed & honestly did forget he even exzisted...

I told him I'll call the cops on him if he contacts me again.. he dissapeared for a month & started again... Thats when I started saying nasty nasty things to him.. like calling him poor white trash & other heartless things... didn't work..

I even told him I was dating Chad & we were having a baby together... that didn't work either...

I'm so not a police person. I don't think the police will even care cause hes not threatening me, & hes not messaging me all the time...

But he is harrasing you and that is not allowed. And what starts out as harrassment can change into something else quickly. Just be careful dear!

[Lobodeb]

Do you have to respond? If he e-mails you, so what? Just don't reply.

As long as you are responding, then he'll keep trying to contact you. He probably thinks it's some sort of game you're playing. I would just save the e-mails in case you start feeling threatned. Let the people at your job know that he's been trying to contact you, that way, if he tries calling there, maybe they can screen your calls or better yet, tell him you are no longer employed there.

[Catsnclay]

Why are you even answering his messages?


I too would cut off all contact with him - don't respond to him AT ALL!

I would also tell him one last time that you will no longer respond to him and that he should stop corrisponding with you, if he does not you will be forced to contact the police, then DO so if he continues.

What he is doing is the same thing an abuser does. Please do not get caught up in his world - and that means talking to him in any way, shape or form. It will be hard, but it seems you have done this before, and you need to do it again.

I have seen first hand what abusers do - it is not pretty on both sides.

[Marigold2]

I would let him know in plain english that if he contacts you again in any way shape or form you will go to the police and then follow through. Make copies of all his e-mails and take them to the police. Contact your friends and co-workers and let them know what is happening. Give people a photo so they know what he looks like and to be on the lookout, ditto with his car. This is not someone who is playing with a full deck. And yes I would change my e-mail address and phone number ASAP.

[Catty1]

Block him from Messenger and everything else, even your phone.

That you have the technology to do.

[king2005]

Do you have to respond? If he e-mails you, so what? Just don't reply.

As long as you are responding, then he'll keep trying to contact you. He probably thinks it's some sort of game you're playing. I would just save the e-mails in case you start feeling threatned. Let the people at your job know that he's been trying to contact you, that way, if he tries calling there, maybe they can screen your calls or better yet, tell him you are no longer employed there.

My email is safe, hes too stupid to remember what it is. I tried ignoring him before on MSN & then I started getting 60+ messages a day... It was mostly him boo hooing & that he'll change. Nothing threatening... I only started messaging him back so the 60+ messages would stop.. then he was hardly replying back, like once a week, then once a month type of thing. Then he dissapeared for Dec, until today.

Work already records who calls & for how long... I looked into that when he was calling my house all day & night long when I first dumpped him. There are also cameras outside.

What he is doing is the same thing an abuser does. Please do not get caught up in his world - and that means talking to him in any way, shape or form. It will be hard, but it seems you have done this before, and you need to do it again.

I have seen first hand what abusers do - it is not pretty on both sides.

Really? Rob didn't try to contact me or anything. He left me broken, & scared for life. Today is the one year of freedom from him & I haven't heard a peep from him at all... I talk to his brother & go to his parents house as they LOVE me & HATE him... Rob enjoyed mental warfare (fear) & being agressive (no broken bones & no bruses, but both my shoulders have been simi disslocated..they still aren't right..., my spine is messed up & my whrists will never have full strength ever again & he did other things I'm not in the mood to disscuss today)..

Shawn wasn't any of that, so I don't understand the abuser part.

Maybe I'm underestimating the whole situation... I've only dated 2 guys.. Rob(7yrs) & Shawn (about 2 months).


Oh & he doesn't have a car, he travells by bus.. I live 40km away from where I use to live. I also know that Bear would eat him if he came to my door & tried anything. I'm also rarely ever alone. I'm usually with Chad or Andrew. If I'm home alone I have Bear & there is a panic button on the alarm system (its a 2 way intercom, super nifty) & it runs through the phone, so I just have to grab one of those if need be... But he'd still have to deal with Bear first... Yes shes a sweatheart & would harm a fly, but she is protective & has shown us that she would protect us if need be. So I honestly feel safe in that sence

[king2005]

Block him from Messenger and everything else, even your phone.

That you have the technology to do.

He doesn't have any of my current phone numbers & when I block him from MSN he makes a new account.. I tried blocking him when he did the 60+ messages/day BS...

I kinda feel stupid I got myself into this stupid mess... I want to date again (NOT HIM, but someone nice, like Joe), but its so not worth the BS I've gone through already... I'm over picky & pretty much turn everyone down...

I have a crush on someone right now, but I'm far to scared to let him know. Everytime I see him or talk to him I swear I go beat red. I get extra quiet & start thinking (thats never a good thing with me)... I did take the next step & I added him to my MSN & I've been chatting with him a lot the past week. But I don't know what to do or think.. part of me says NO RUN & HIDE, but part of me says hes handsom, sweet, talks to me, wants to hang out & game with me (hes a gammer...I use to be, I'm trying to get back into it), we've already drank at a party & gone bowling in a group, & we talked to each other the most... But I'm so scared to get involved with anyone (joe or someone else)...

[Marigold2]

I wouldn't date anyone until you get this creep out of your life for good. He is diffently oppsessive about you. Dating someone now might make him angry and might make the abuse increase.

[Catty1]

Just call the police and report - NOT charge - him. Most stations have a stalking or domestic unit...

A women's shelter or organization - the Y? Could give you some direction on this.

Good luck.