Women changing their last name to that of their husband after marriage...

**Queen of Poop** · 02-01-2005, 01:45 PM

I took both of my husbands names, out of respect for them and our marriage. I kept the first husbands name after our divorce more out of spite than anything else but ditched it when I got married the second time.

**Logan** · 02-01-2005, 01:46 PM

Originally posted by Queen of Poop
I took both of my husbands names, out of respect for them and our marriage. I kept the first husbands name after our divorce more out of spite than anything else but ditched it when I got married the second time.

LOL!!!! Sort of my train of thought, too!

**Catsnclay** · 02-01-2005, 02:18 PM

I took my first husbands last name when I married young, 4 years later I found my self divorced, so I changed my name back to my maiden name. 17 years later I remarried and although I took Tim's last name, I hyphenated with my maiden name.

Now to make this even more complicated, I was named after my father's mother. I was the first girl born after her 8 boys so I HAD to have her name (old school type thing). Nobody ever called me that name because everyone hated it (except my grandmother and I had an aunt with the same name). I was given the nickname "Bunny" and that has stuck ever since. Growing up I used my middle name, which is also my mother's first name (confused yet?!) So when I married Tim my legal name was XXXX Jeanette "Smith-Jones"......I started getting writers cramp! My parents then got divorced and my father wanted me on all his bank accounts etc, but since I basically had the same name as my mother, everyone was getting confused, and yes my mother took advantage of that situation ! (another long story)

Just this last year I legally had my name changed to Bunny and now have my maiden name as my middle name and Tim's last name. Let me tell you what a pain in the butt it has now become to change your name!!!! And to have it changed on all the legal and none legal papers!! I don't think I'm ever going to change my name again!!

I have a few friends that never changed their names when they got married and their children use both of their parents name as a last name ( Tommy Miller-Jones) It is no big deal any more to change your last name.

**catland** · 02-01-2005, 02:21 PM

My husband and I have the same last name (his) because we're a team and as we like to say to each other "we have a contract of love" (we're really sappy by the way).

I didn't get married until I was 35. That might have something to do with it - it just wasn't important to me to keep my old name. Hyphenating was out of the question because I personally think its a waste of time and makes writing checks and signing documents that much more tedious.

(and in my case, it sounded really, really dumb) I'm guessing that people who go the hyphenating route have never bought a home and had to sign the zillion documtents required at closinig.

Finally, my husband is the most important person in my life and I plan on keeping him for a very long time.

Having the same last name for me is a sense of unity. I didn't "lose" anything by shedding my former name.

**PJ's Mom** · 02-01-2005, 02:21 PM

I took my husbands name the first time. My kids have his last name and I kept it once we divorced. So, my kids and I had the same last name for a long time...until I got married again. Now we have different last names (something I didn't think about at the time) but in time, that will change.

**carole** · 02-01-2005, 02:56 PM

I think for most of my generation , it was just the done thing, no-one questioned it, and maybe only professional people kept their maiden name.

For me it simply is not an issue, I agree with Jessica, and feel as she does, I am proud to have my husbands last name, although originally I thought it rather strange to have a girls first name as my last, but I have become used to it now, but of course people still call me by my surname instead of Carole because of it.

PCB in Scotland it is quite common for a middle name to be a family surname, for instance my sister's middle name is Ferris, which is my grandmother's maiden name, luckily I escaped tradition and got Anne for my middle name, my mother's middle name is Clarke, again her mother's maiden name.

**Edwina's Secretary** · 02-01-2005, 05:51 PM

This is how it works in Mexico....as in many hispanic cultures.

Sara Smith marries Tom Jones

Children are:

Mary Jones Smith
Don Jones Smith

Mary marries Fred Anders Wilde
child is - Sue Anders Jones

Don marries Edna Port Wight
child is Ron Jones Port

Often only the initial of the second last name is used.

Some woman use the "de" or "of" As in Sara Smith de Jones.

A friend of mine said the only time she did this was at the hospital when she was givng birth....

**Tubby & Peanut's Mom** · 02-01-2005, 06:07 PM

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
This is how it works in Mexico....as in many hispanic cultures.

Sara Smith marries Tom Jones

Children are:

Mary Jones Smith
Don Jones Smith

Mary marries Fred Anders Wilde
child is - Sue Anders Jones

Don marries Edna Port Wight
child is Ron Jones Port

Often only the initial of the second last name is used.

Some woman use the "de" or "of" As in Sara Smith de Jones.

A friend of mine said the only time she did this was at the hospital when she was givng birth....

Talk about confusing!!!

**RICHARD** · 02-01-2005, 06:17 PM

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
This is how it works in Mexico....as in many hispanic cultures.

Sara Smith marries Tom Jones

It's not unusual.......

OH, OH!!!

That explains CHICO AND DE MANN!!!!

**PepperRSM** · 02-01-2005, 06:21 PM

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
This is who I was born and this is who I will be till the day I die. There's a lot of history and pride behind my last name. For that reason I will keep it, family pride.

That's what I think about my situation. My last name is very irish and in the past few years I have learned a lot about my personal family history/culture, so I think it would be hard for me to give it up in that sense. Then again, I agree, it all depends on your personal situation/preference. If my last name was common and didn't have much cultural significance to me, I probably wouldn't care about changing it. Then again, I am pretty far off from getting married right now, so maybe I'll totally change what I think about this subject in 10 years or so

**Kater** · 02-01-2005, 10:40 PM

I've never really given this much thought...hmmm. I guess it would depend.
I like my last name, but I'd take his if my first name sounded better with it.

If I was already an established veterinarian with my family name, I would keep it. As for the kids, I think hyphenated names are just too long, so they would take their fathers last name whether or not I kept my maiden name.
My sister-in-law and sister both took their husband's last names. My mother did also, and replaced her middle name with her maiden name.
I guess I'll worry about this when I'm actually engaged…and that is NOT now!

**koxka** · 02-02-2005, 12:07 AM

Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom

Talk about confusing!!!

Confused!!! LOL .That's me after reading all this post!!!

Is as simple as that: If you are born p.e. Teresa Perez or Jose Gonzalez, you are Teresa Perez or Jose Gonzalez all your life- Plain and easy! Esay to keep track of you, medical records, and administrative stuff.

If you have kids, they have firts the last name of the father and second the last name of the mother.And going on....for the following generation!

Now, there is a law that you can choose if the name of the mother came firt instead of the father name. But if you choose that option all of your kids must follow the same rule. But I'm not sure about that.

As Sara has stated :
"Some woman use the "de" or "of" As in Sara Smith de Jones." Is used socialy and "de bon ton". But does not have any legal effect.

**Vio&Juni** · 02-02-2005, 09:43 AM

My boyfriend asked me if I would keep my name or change it when we marry and then said: please keep it, you're such a Casian

Probably I am going to keep it or hiphenate, at almost 30 years old I am so used to it.

**cali** · 02-02-2005, 12:22 PM

As for the kids, I think hyphenated names are just too long, so they would take their fathers last name whether or not I kept my maiden name.

lol very true my best friend has a hyphenated name "bjorinson-tancrede" for legal things she uses her full hyphenated name but otherwise she goes simply by "tancrede" lol her first name being "stephanie" is long enugh that combined with her middle name, and her hyphenated last name....

**lovemyshiba** · 02-02-2005, 01:41 PM

Originally posted by catland
My husband and I have the same last name (his) because we're a team and as we like to say to each other "we have a contract of love" (we're really sappy by the way).

Finally, my husband is the most important person in my life and I plan on keeping him for a very long time. Having the same last name for me is a sense of unity. I didn't "lose" anything by shedding my former name.

I couldn't agree with you more

I was very proud to take on my husband's name, and I don't feel as though I lost anything by giving up my father's name.
Marriage is a unity of two people, bringing us together as one. Having the same last name is important to me.

I have no problem with women who do not change their names, it is strictly a personal choice.