Need Advice -- Please!!

[Samantha Puppy]

Growing up, I had 3 grandmothers. My dad's step-mother and mother lived out of state, but my mom's mother was never more then 30 minutes away from us my entire life. She was known as Mom-Mom and was the quintessential grandmother - pudgy, loving, generous, funny, etc. The kind you read about in books. Because she was always nearby, she was very involved in everything my brother and I did growing up - football games, ballet recitals, band concerts, etc. She died on Christmas Day, 1997, when I was 19 years old and there isn't a day goes by that I don't think about her and miss her terribly... especially now, with her first great-grandchild about to be born.

My issue is this. Josh's mom has decided she wants to be called Mom-Mom. Try as I might, I cannot NOT be bugged by this. I almost feel like I'd be cheating on MY Mom-Mom by calling someone else that. My Mom-Mom was such a good person, my memories of her are so special... and to bestow a name that has such special connotation to me on someone else, I just can't seem to do it. I've gotten around it so far being as the baby hasn't been born yet, but we're down to less than 2 weeks now so we've got to figure something out.

What did you call your grandparents? What do your children call theirs? I think I'm willing to give in to Cindy on this one, I guess, I'm just finding it very, very difficult. I was just writing out envelopes for the birth announcements and got to hers and froze. I just couldn't bring myself to write Mom-Mom.

What do I do? Go along with it, and always have that nagging feeling in the back of my heart? Let her call herself whatever she wants when she's around the baby but call her something different when she isn't around and hope he latches on to that? I'm not trying to be bitchy or controlling here... I am just having a really difficult time with this one.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Mine were always Nanny and Grandad (shortened to Nan as I got older....) and Katie does the same (expect for MIL who insists on Granmama!! mad old bat!)

Fully understand how you feel - can you not sit down with Josh's Mum and explain the problem?

At the end of the day its not the name you use that makes you a grandparent but I do hope you get this resolved. It may be that baby decides for himself with his first attempts at talking (my Grandad was known as Nannack for years!)

[Cataholic]

Jaime, how ever do you get yourself into these conundrums? Repeat after me, "it is MY baby, MY wishes will be followed...." Really, just have a sit down and tell her why you feel so strongly about it. What sort of person wouldn't understand? And, if she doesn't understand, and won't bend- why would you care that you are equally un-understanding back?

I haven't ever heard of Mom-Mom for a grandmother. Frankly, it is a little too close to MOM- my title- for my liking.

My mom is Grammy (actually, Gammy....but, it will morph into Grammy), and my stepmother is Grandma.

One of the men I work for has a really cool title. He is Pops, and his wife is Mops. I love that!

You shouldn't be stressing so much this close to the event! (or, ever, really.)

[elizabethann]

Luckily, my Grandmothers were called Babcia (Polish) and YiaYia (Greek) so I didn't have a problem (though my Greek Grandmother was really a step-grandmother and I felt weird calling her that).

Anyhow, I would explain to her why you don't want to call her Mom-Mom. Perhaps you and she can come up with another special name? I'm sure she would understand.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

P.S. Here's a website that may help. I like MiMi. It's sweet.

http://www.janbrett.com/piggybacks/grandma.htm

[poofy]

I had grandma, and grandpa, my kids have grandma and papa, and my grandkids have mema and papa..umm, my cousins have mamaking and papa king,their last name, and my sister is meme..

[Maresche]

Mimi is only 8 months so she isn't talking yet, but when she does, we're hoping she'll call my mother Grammy, my step-father Poppy and my grandmother Great-Grammy. We're hoping she'll call my MIL Grandma, my FIL Grandpa and my GMIL Great-Grandma. But whatever she calls them is what she calls them.

[Karen]

Growing up, nearly everyone I knew had a Meme and Pepe (mem-may, pep-ay) and a Grandma and Grandpa. (One set of French Canadian grandparents, one set of not French ones!)

Maybe instead of Mom-Mom, she'd be okay with Meme? What's her ethnicity?

Other common Grandmother names:
Grammy
Gamma
Nana

Have you spoken to her at all about it? Maybe she'd be fine with something else, you never know 'til you ask!

[ramanth]

Gramma and Grampa or G-maw and G-paw.

[catnapper]

Hmmmmm.... I have not read all the other replies, but this is one thing I've alweays felt very strongly about --- and I don't have kids, but I'm already planning for when the step kids have children!

I told hubby that I want THEIR kids to decide what they want to call me. If its mom-mom, then so beit. (but personally, I always hated it, much for the reasons you love it so much -- my step father's parents were mom-mom and pop-pop... and well, they were not the nicest to my brother and I but were the fdream grandparents of their biological grandchildren) My step kids call their grandfather Fav (or Favie) because thats what they heard when hubby called his dad "father" (my FIL is from the old school that feels children shold respect their parents and call them Father ) ANYHOOO.... they called their grandfather Fav, their Granmom was Nan. Their step-grandmother was Mama. All the names were chosen by the oldest child (my son) and I think its more personal and sweet that way.

[jenluckenbach]

I called my Dad's parents Grandma and Grandpa.

I called my Mom's parents Grandma and Pop-Pop. This step-grandmother (who I did not meet until I was 11 years old) wanted us to call her Ba-Ba but there was no way in heck I was going to do that.

My mom's grandmother and grandfather were Nana and Pappy.

[carole]

My children call my parents Nana and Grandad, can you not have them called mom-mom but add their surname to it, the letter like mom-momB and mom-mom g as an example, it is up to you really.

[finn's mom]

I'd just ask her if she has any specific reasons for wanting to be called Mom Mom. It could be as simple as she doesn't want to be called "grandma" cuz it sounds old or something. You never will know her feelings on it if you don't ask. It could be just something she overheard and thought was cute. And, she may not realize that it's such a big deal to you. And, my only question is...is it that you don't want anyone to be Mom Mom to your son or that you don't want your mother-in-law to be Mom Mom? Meaning, a lot of times names like that get passed down...like if you called your grandmother a certain name, sometimes your child will call his/her grandmother (your mother)the same thing you called yours...what is your mother wanting him to call her? I hope it all works out for the best. I would definitely ask her, though, why she specifically wants that name.

[Samantha Puppy]

And, my only question is...is it that you don't want anyone to be Mom Mom to your son or that you don't want your mother-in-law to be Mom Mom? Meaning, a lot of times names like that get passed down...like if you called your grandmother a certain name, sometimes your child will call his/her grandmother (your mother)the same thing you called yours...what is your mother wanting him to call her? I hope it all works out for the best. I would definitely ask her, though, why she specifically wants that name.

I know this sounds awful, but I don't want anyone to be Mom Mom. MY Mom Mom was so special, I just feel that anyone else using the name wouldn't be half the person she was. I KNOW that's not true, it's just that she is the epitome of this name and I'd be measuring up everyone else to her.

I don't know that I'd have as much of a problem if MY mom wanted to be called Mom Mom, as she is my Mom Mom's daughter and is very similar, but Cindy is just so different. She's not chubby and jolly and all that. For example - we couldn't afford furniture for the baby other than the crib. While Cindy was kind enough to offer Josh's old baby chest and changing table to us, and I really do appreciate the offer, my grandmother would've loaned us the money to buy matching pieces because she knows how long I've dreamed of having a baby and setting up a nursery. (We used to look through JCPenney catalogs together and pick out what we liked and didn't even though I was eons away from having children.) MY mom went to Cindy and asked if she'd be interested in buying the changing table for us if she (my mom) got the chest. Cindy said no, she didn't want to spoil us and we needed to use what we had instead of being handed everything. Now. I *do* agree with that frame of mind for a lot of things, but when it's something as special as having your first baby? I'm sorry, I just don't. And I don't fault Cindy for not wanting to take part in buying new furniture - that's just the way she is. And my Mom is different and that's just the way she is. But you see, my Mom did what HER mom... MY Mom Mom... would've done.

Cindy's just so different from what the word Mom Mom means to me. She's not a bad person by any means, even though we do butt heads sometimes. She's just different. And try as I might, I cannot break MY view of what a Mom Mom is to be able to call her it.

[shais_mom]

I called my both sets of Grandparents Grandma and Grandpa.
When I was little I called my dad's parent's Grandma and Grandpa Tippy b/c we had a dog that we 'shared'. In the winter Tippy went to live with Grandma and Grandpa - in the summer she lived with us.
My mom's parents I called THEM Grandma and Grandpa Ted - why? B/c my mom has a brother 16 years younger then her so when I was little he still lived at home and was there whenever I was so it was always Grandma and Grandpa AND Ted!
I had younger cousins that called their grandparent's Mamaw and Papaw and they called our grandparents Grandma and PaPa. Try as I might I could not call my Grandpa - PaPa. But that stuck and all the rest of the younger cousins called him that and when he passed away that was one of the name that was on the funeral arrangement at the casket. I wish they would have put PaPa and Grandpa b/c the older group of grandkids called him Grandpa.

I got news for your mother in law - Nug may call her whatever ever he wants and that may stick. My sister's father in law was the same way. He wanted to be called Granddad b/c that is what HIS dad is called. Noone wanted him to do that b/c the originial Granddad is still very much alive and that would cause confusion. Kinda like being in Walmart and yelling MOM - everyone looks! My nephew (the oldest grandchild and at the time the ONLY) solved this problem when he started talking. One day Cliff (father in law which is also Granddad's name too so that wouldn't have solved matters either!) was outside doing something and Jake looked out and yelled "DADO" and they said "that's Granddad" and he nodded and yelled "Dado" and he is "DADO" to all 4 of his grandkids! And he doesn't complain one bit.
My nephews call my dad PaPa. I call him PaPa to Keegan and she knows exactly who I am talking about.

Good Luck.

[.sarah]

My dad's parents are Nana and Pawpaw to me. My mom's parents were a little upset about it as that's what they were already called by other grandchildren. They stayed Nana and Papa (different spelling) to their other grandchildren, but to me and my brother they became Nanny and Papa C (C is the initial of their last name).

Maybe that would work in your situation -- other grandchildren (if she has or will have) can call her Mom-mom, but your kids could call her something else.