Ash's time has come.....

[carole]

With great sadness i have to tell you, that on saturday Ash is booked in at the vets 1pm, i will be having him Put to Sleep,unless by some miracle my ole fella does a turn around, this is why i have given him until then, hoping that it will happen, he has done this before, but this time is different, i know in my heart his time is up and it would be cruel of me to let him keep going as he is.

He made a sharp decline three days ago, and so far there is no improvement,I may even have to go sooner if things get worse.

Please keep us in your thoughts, this is the hardest decision i have ever had to make, and it hurts very much, I have had a long time to prepare myself, but still it is extremely hard to do. I dreaded even making the phone call for the appointment, and they were booked out, but made an exception, and it will be my favourite vet Gabe who knows Ash well, that helps, i was shaking making that call, and now i cannot stop those tears flowing, and that awful lump in your throat you get, i don't know how on earth i am going to manage on the day, i will be an emotional mess.

I know many of you have traveled this unpleasant and tough road, so will understand how i am feeling, sick to the stomach, would sum it up nicely, a few sleepless nights and unhappy days ahead for sure, but it is time for my ole fella to be at peace now.

[Catty1]

Carole, I am so so so sorry...you have stuck by Ash every bit of the way, and done everything you could.

Prayers and good thoughts going to you and sweet Ash. You and he will always have the love you share.


{{{{hugs}}}}

You might want to crosspost this to Cat General, so others can support you here.

[carole]

Thank you for your kind words candace, I still am holding on to a bit of hope as you do, but i can see he has given up the battle, and i guess that is his way of telling me enough now mum, let me go,well i have to tell myself that anyhow,if only to help me feel a little better.

I am so dreading this weekend, it is gonna be so darn hard.

Could you please crosspost it for me, i have no idea how, and cannot think quite straight right now.

This is going to be very hard on my Melissa too, she adores Ash, they have quite a special bond, he has never ever scratched her, me plenty of times, and she was the one who brought him to me when she was about 8 yrs old,thanks to her and Ash i discovered i could tolerate kitties, even though i have an allergy to them, had missed out on the love of kitties for many years until Ash arrived and the rest his history.

She thinks he can keep going, but i know he can't.

[caseysmom]

I will pray that Ash will make a sharp turnaround and you can cancel your appointment, but if not you are doing the right thing.

[Medusa]

Praying for a miracle here, Carole. What you have to do is really tough but the right thing, as you know. Keep the faythe.

[carole]

Yes i know I have to do the right thing by him, it is not fair for him to suffer on , and i believe he is now suffering, he was not before,he has had enough i can tell, poor ole guy.

[Catherinedana]

Praying for a miracle here, Carole.

We all are, Carole. But I think the miracle happened when you and Ash met and he became a part of your life. He will always be with you, you know that. And our hearts are with you too.

Much love,
Cathy

[RedHedd]

Gentle hugs and tears - it's so fresh for me too. The hardest decision and the last few days aren't easy either - I didn't sleep a wink Mitzi's last few days with me. Cry, scream, snuggle Ash and know you are doing the right thing even to the end. The hardest appointment to make and keep. My thoughts and prayers go out to you that his passage be peaceful

[3Catcondo]

Prayers being sent to Ash, you, Melissa and the other furbabes during this difficult time.

[kitten645]

LES here. It's still an open wound for me and I know those three days were the worse in my life. Hugs to you and Ash. It's so very hard to see them suffer. Hobbes is watching over him and will be there to greet him.
Claudia

[Taz_Zoee]

While I knew Taz's time was approaching, I couldn't schedule an appointment for "the time". When I took him in for his checkup and the doctor basically told me there's nothing more to be done, I decided then and there to let him go. The doc said I could take him home over the weekend (4th of July weekend), but that would have been WAY too hard.
Oh boy, tears are flowing again.............

[katladyd]

We never forget them or stop loving them. That is mostly good, but at times it hurts like H*ll! I am thinking of you and Ash and wishing you an easy time with your decision. If Ash rebounds, I will be soo happy for you, but I know you know better than I when the time has come. Give Ash kisses from me. He will be missed.

[momcat]

Carole,
Even when we know time is running out, I'm not sure we can prepare ourselves for such a loss. Like your other PT friends, I too am praying for that miracle. If that's not to be, take comfort in knowing that because of you Ash knew nothing but unconditional love and the life that every kitty deserves. Keep him in your heart always.

Sending gentle lovies to sweet Ash and many [[[[[HUGS]]]]] to you.

[astrid]

I'm so sorry for the sad news
It's so sad for us, humans, to let our babies go but that's what's best for them since they're suffering.
Ash has had a beautiful life, full of love and joy thanks to you and he knows it, he'll always remember that and he'll always be watching over you.

Big hugs to you and my best wishes for a peaceful passing for little Ash.

[carole]

coming here has helped me so much, i knew here i would have the support and understanding i so much need right now, every time i read your posts i cry ,but they are good tears if you know what i mean.

Did not sleep well last night, got up at 1.20 am to check on Ash, he had moved off the couch and was sitting awake on the floor, i gave him pats and tried with food, but alas no luck ,he ate nothing yesterday, and today is the same, but damn it ,i won't give up trying, i hate bothering him, he just wants to be left alone, but i have to at least try, he did drink though,his spirit is broken, i can just tell, he has not much fight left in him now.

I was regretting getting up because then he started pacing up and down the room wanting outside, however after about 5mins he went over to the litter box and did a big pee, i was so proud of my ole fella, you see Ash is not accustomed to using litter boxes, but he was so good, and also i thought well he cannot be too de-hydrated, that was the only one he did.

Today he just wants to sit in the driveway, he really does not like me giving him attention, he just cannot be bothered with pats and loves, but i do my best and try to give him some when he will tolerate it, i know it is his mouth that is the problem, and i know it is because of the kidney failure, i felt long time ago, it would be his mouth that would take him out before the kidney failure,if you know what i mean.

I was not keen to pill him last night, as i thought i should just leave him in peace, it has always been a struggle and stress for him and us, but my husband convinced me we should, luckily it went well, i know how sick he is because he did not put up much of a fight, they must be helping him somewhat though as he was not near as weak today in his back legs, considering his lack of food and condition.

I have tried everything possible, all cat food ,biscuits, baby food,cat milk, mince ,chicken,even some smoked snapper, but he just sniffs and walks away,i have always found feeding him a challenge over the last 19mths, but stuck with it, doing anything to get him to eat, and it paid off,but this time is different and i know that, sadly there is not going to be a miracle, i know that.

I was amazed at him this morning though i brought him inside as i do everytime my daughter and husband leave in the car as he has been a bit slack at getting out of the way for some time now,and i had shut him in,but the middle door got opened and he still could not get outside, except he went into the bathroom window and jumped out, and it is quite a height, was worried he would hurt himself, but he is fine, could not believe he had enough energy to even do that,he is a strong ole boy for sure.

Yes i hope the passing will be peaceful, i am concerned because when i went with my friend Jane for her kitty, they had trouble getting the needle in, it was very distressing, i could not bear that , if it happened again and to my Ash, i would want to run away and take him home again.

I had always planned to have a nice box all ready for Ash, but had not done it yet, as it felt wrong to do with him still going so strong, now i have nothing prepared, i guess i will find something, but i want it to be special for my ole guy,Ash will always be with me, i have his pic on my mobile, and will treasure it forever, i have a nice place picked out for him under the a pretty bush in the garden, he often used to sit there, and i see it every time i go outside,feels weird talking about this with him still here, but one just feels the need to share.

It is going to be another tough day ahead and tomorrow will be even worse, i think this is the worst part of it all, i am sure when Ash has passed there will be sadness but relief too , i am sure you know what i mean by that.

Again thanks for your kindness, it means the world to me right now.

Here are two pics of my lovely ole boy, taking just two days ago, the pics do him justice, he is half the kitty he used to be, but at least in these pics he does not look too bad,although if you look in my siggy you will see what Ash used to look like a big healthy rotund pussy cat, sad to see him waste away like this, but that is the damn nature of this illness.