Is this a normal feeling to go through?

**CountryWolf07** · 05-05-2009, 10:25 AM

So, I've noticed, after graduating almost two months ago from OSU; that I have changed. I don't feel like I am the same person I used to be. I feel like I'm unhappy all the time, and negative about the outlook about things in my life, such as a job, my boyfriend (he works all the time, and it's tough sometimes), how I don't have any friends around in the area, etc. My boyfriend told me that I need to figure things out because I have been moody since graduating and that I have never been like this before. Last night was when I really considered breaking up with him - why? I don't know. It seems like lately I get upset with him all the time, even when he tries to help me figure something out. I never used to be like that. It scares me the fact he doesn't make me happy sometimes, and it seems like he is more focused on his mom (he's 25 years old) than me these days, because I've been different and he didn't want to talk to me because it's too hard for him to. So..

I decided to go away this weekend up to Lakeside/Marblehead with some friends from Columbus, and maybe this is what I just need. To get away and be recharged by the time I come back and hopefully feel like I'm happy again. And figure this thing out with Mike, because I don't know anymore.

I really hope this is due to the fact I don't have a job or anything to keep me busy during the days - and it's causing me to overthink on everything.

**pomtzu** · 05-05-2009, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by CountryWolf07

I really hope this is due to the fact I don't have a job or anything to keep me busy during the days - and it's causing me to overthink on everything.

This probably has a lot to do with it - that - and the fact that now you have a totally different life than you had in college. In school, you knew what you would be doing every day, and you had direction. Now, you just seem to be floundering and not knowing from one day till the next, what life is going to bring each day. Unfortunately, you are not the only one going thru this - so many people are in the same boat - and this horrible economy just makes it even worse. I believe most college grads go thru the same as you, at least to some degree. Hopefully that great job will come along soon.
Maybe you could find something to occupy your time until you find a job - like doing some volunteer work a few days a week. And try to understand what your boyfriend is going thru seeing you like you are now. I think he probably just wants the old you back. I'm sure it's just as tough on him as it is on you.
I hope you can soon find yourself, and that things will start to look brighter for you. Good luck, and keep us posted.

**kuhio98** · 05-05-2009, 11:40 AM

I think it's normal to feel a bit let down after reaching a major goal (graduating) in life. I notice I do that too.

This part concerns me though:

It scares me the fact he doesn't make me happy sometimes...

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, but it's not his job to make you happy. That's your responsibility. And nobody is happy all the time. That's just life.

Getting away might be just what you need. Focus on yourself. Things that you can do to make yourself happy.

Keep plugging away at getting a job. It's hard out there right now and rejection always brings a person down. But, you'll feel better about yourself when you're working and then the little things won't seem like such big things.

**CountryWolf07** · 05-05-2009, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by kuhio98

I think it's normal to feel a bit let down after reaching a major goal (graduating) in life. I notice I do that too.

This part concerns me though:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, but it's not his job to make you happy. That's your responsibility. And nobody is happy all the time. That's just life.

Getting away might be just what you need. Focus on yourself. Things that you can do to make yourself happy.

Yeah, it is not his job to make me happy but I think it came out wrong, what I meant was I notice I haven't been happy lately, which is telling me, yeah, I do need to look at myself right now and just do something about it. So I'm really looking forward to this weekend then hopefully be recharged when I come back. I just need to get away and completely RELAX with nothing on my mind and just actually realize, there are more to good things in life than bad, and that it will get better. I've just only started.

**kokopup** · 05-05-2009, 12:11 PM

I think Pomtzu gave the best advice. I never had to deal with not having a job but I have had jobs that I was not happy in. I have found that Volunteering your time can give you a lot of satisfaction. Finding a job will help but until your job comes along try refocusing on others and use your talents productively. This will give you a new purpose for waking up every day. There is no substitute for youth. Use it wisely.

**catnapper** · 05-05-2009, 03:49 PM

I think its completely normal. Think about this -- you've been working towards a goal, and were told all your life that once you've attained that goal, life would be great. Now you find yourself with the degree but none of the greatness you should have. So of course you feel let down and lost.

I went through the same exact thing. In fact, I seriously considered going for my graduate degree just to postpone reality. Reality is not as much fun as people promised. While in school, you work towards a goal. You dream what life would be like once you get there. Now, you're THERE. And its nothing like your dreams. Where's the glamourous job with coworkers praising your excellent work? Where's the awesome apartment? And the rocking social life?

You know what? Just because you graduated and are in a time of transition, doesn't mean you can't appreciate the wonderful things going on now. You have the whole world open to you! Nothing is 100% concrete and nothing is tying you down to any one thing. You are soooo lucky!

**Medusa** · 05-05-2009, 03:59 PM

Do something that takes you completely outside yourself w/no visible reward, such as volunteering as kokopup suggested. It does sound like you need a break, though, and perhaps your weekend away will help to recharge your batteries. (Can I come?)

**wolf_Q** · 05-05-2009, 04:04 PM

Somebody my age told me they were going through a "Quarter Life Crisis" lol. I think I am going through that sometimes too. I think its understandable to go through something like that after graduating college and then looking to find a job, etc. I'm sure you'll pull through it and be yourself again. Hope that weekend trip helps!

p.s. At least you're not me...I don't have a degree OR boyfriend, be lucky you have that.

**beeniesmom** · 05-05-2009, 04:21 PM

I think what you are going through is normal.

My sister is going through the same thing.

She graduated in December and is still in the part time job she had while in school. She is frustrated and unhappy, not sure what she wants to do.

She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend but that didn't make her happy so don't do anything harsh.

Just be patient until your new 'goal' comes along, whether it a great job or hobby or more school.

Hope you and my sister get through this funk.

**carole** · 05-05-2009, 04:55 PM

I think everyone has given you great advice, and I too think it is normal what you are going through, try and focus on something new in your life, it might help, a cause or whatever interests you until you get the job you want, as for your boyfriend, i know in the past you have been so very happy with him, and it might just be your mood affecting your relationship with him, i am thinking that is probably what it is, however maybe you do need to take a long and hard look at him and decide if he is really what you want , but don't do anything in haste, think long and hard about any decisions you make right now ,and I hope things improve with you soon and you are back to feeling better about things in general take care.