He contacted me again, what do I do?

**king2005** · 03-13-2007, 12:59 PM

I dated a guy named Shawn from May 2006-June 2006. I dumped him as his drugs, drinking, & being fired left right & centre was not the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

At first I was trying to be nice to him & saying no & where he went wrong & how & where to get help. This went on for a couple months. Then he dissapeared, YAY!! Then he returned, poo... Every few weeks he'd message me. I started getting nasty at him, as I had had enough & wanted him to just go away & stop making new msn accounts as I keep blocking his.

Then he dissapeared for 3-4 months & I totally forgot about it & didn't have to worry about what messages I'd find on my MSN...

Well hes returned

This is along the lines of what he said... "I just returned from rehab & I have a job"...

He just doesn't get it... He cannot take back what he did & I don't want him back.

I'm really considering talking to the police, but I don't want to at the same time, cause hes not messaging me everyday & hes not being an asshat either. hes just bagging me to take him back & that hes changed (he says that in every post & said that when I was with him... I'm sure they are lies)... I don't want the police hounding him or his family, unless he becomes agressive or is really harassing me...

He has no idea where I live & my phone # has been dissconnected (not cause of him, I no longer needed it). But he knows where I work (unless hes fried his brain & forgot)...

GAH!!! What on earth do I do?

**Catlady711** · 03-13-2007, 01:18 PM

If it were me I'd change my msn name, even though it's a hassle, so you don't have to hear from him again, and then if he shows up at either your workplace or home then call the police. But that's just me.

Good luck

**Queen of Poop** · 03-13-2007, 01:21 PM

Tell him that you have no interest in him and ask him to leave you alone. Also tell him that if he fails to heed your wishes you will contact the police. If you hear from him again after that you will have to follow thru and contact the police and have them handle it.

Please, please don't get caught up with him again. Be strong. You've moved on!

**king2005** · 03-13-2007, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by Queen of Poop

Tell him that you have no interest in him and ask him to leave you alone. Also tell him that if he fails to heed your wishes you will contact the police. If you hear from him again after that you will have to follow thru and contact the police and have them handle it.

Please, please don't get caught up with him again. Be strong. You've moved on!

No worries I'll never hook up with him again!!! I don't do break up, go out, break up, go out.. once its over, its over! I'm more so annoyed & honestly did forget he even exzisted...

I told him I'll call the cops on him if he contacts me again.. he dissapeared for a month & started again... Thats when I started saying nasty nasty things to him.. like calling him poor white trash & other heartless things... didn't work..

I even told him I was dating Chad & we were having a baby together... that didn't work either...

I'm so not a police person. I don't think the police will even care cause hes not threatening me, & hes not messaging me all the time...

**Queen of Poop** · 03-13-2007, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

No worries I'll never hook up with him again!!! I don't do break up, go out, break up, go out.. once its over, its over! I'm more so annoyed & honestly did forget he even exzisted...

I told him I'll call the cops on him if he contacts me again.. he dissapeared for a month & started again... Thats when I started saying nasty nasty things to him.. like calling him poor white trash & other heartless things... didn't work..

I even told him I was dating Chad & we were having a baby together... that didn't work either...

I'm so not a police person. I don't think the police will even care cause hes not threatening me, & hes not messaging me all the time...

But he is harrasing you and that is not allowed. And what starts out as harrassment can change into something else quickly. Just be careful dear!

**Lobodeb** · 03-13-2007, 02:19 PM

Do you have to respond? If he e-mails you, so what? Just don't reply.

As long as you are responding, then he'll keep trying to contact you. He probably thinks it's some sort of game you're playing. I would just save the e-mails in case you start feeling threatned. Let the people at your job know that he's been trying to contact you, that way, if he tries calling there, maybe they can screen your calls or better yet, tell him you are no longer employed there.

**Catsnclay** · 03-13-2007, 02:24 PM

Why are you even answering his messages?

I too would cut off all contact with him - don't respond to him AT ALL!

I would also tell him one last time that you will no longer respond to him and that he should stop corrisponding with you, if he does not you will be forced to contact the police, then DO so if he continues.

What he is doing is the same thing an abuser does. Please do not get caught up in his world - and that means talking to him in any way, shape or form. It will be hard, but it seems you have done this before, and you need to do it again.

I have seen first hand what abusers do - it is not pretty on both sides.

**IRescue452** · 03-13-2007, 01:22 PM

Change your msn name, but keep the old one in so that you don't have to change all the accounts that the email is attached to. If he continues or starts to contact you more often definately contact the police, better safe than sorry.

**king2005** · 03-13-2007, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Catlady711

If it were me I'd change my msn name, even though it's a hassle, so you don't have to hear from him again, and then if he shows up at either your workplace or home then call the police. But that's just me.

Good luck

Thats the problem, I cannot change my MSN.. I am kingrattus all over the internet & have been for nearly 8yrs now... I was kingrattus here too, but I wont go there... Everything I have & do is Kingrattus... I love Kingrattus & cannot part with it because of a guy... GAH... this sucks, why couldn't he just have stayed away

**jennielynn1970** · 03-16-2007, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

Thats the problem, I cannot change my MSN.. I am kingrattus all over the internet & have been for nearly 8yrs now... I was kingrattus here too, but I wont go there... Everything I have & do is Kingrattus... I love Kingrattus & cannot part with it because of a guy... GAH... this sucks, why couldn't he just have stayed away

Kingrattus is a name. You can pick another one.

Unless you like the drama and want the thrill of him coming back to you, you'll change it.

If you take his actions seriously, change it.

If you don't, keep the name and then deal with the repercussions.

If he ends up being a freak and hurting you, well... at least you still have your screen name.

Sorry. Sounds mean, but sometimes you have to look past things the small things and at the bigger picture.

**king2005** · 03-16-2007, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by jenn_librarian

Kingrattus is a name. You can pick another one.

Its just a dog, get a new one.

Thats kinda how I feel. I have money invested in it & its part of me. I'm not changing who I am because of some guy. I've already lost just about everything I've owned & what I have left I'm not giving up.

I was hoping there was a way around dealing with the police & not changing my name... The only option is to talk to the ploce about the issue, which I already mentioned earlier I was going to do.

**columbine** · 03-16-2007, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

The only option is to talk to the ploce about the issue, which I already mentioned earlier I was going to do.

Good plan! Even if they say "there's nothing we can do until he's broken a law," say "what's the definition of harassment and how do I document it" and ask them about local anti-stalking resources. You'll have to do some detective work, but don't reinvent the wheel - find the people who've already blazed the trail for people in your area.

Love, Columbine

**catnapper** · 03-17-2007, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

Its just a dog, get a new one.

Thats kinda how I feel. I have money invested in it & its part of me. I'm not changing who I am because of some guy. I've already lost just about everything I've owned & what I have left I'm not giving up.

I was hoping there was a way around dealing with the police & not changing my name... The only option is to talk to the ploce about the issue, which I already mentioned earlier I was going to do.

Ummm.... its not the same as "just a dog". A better analogy would be comparing it to your locks. If someone said to change your locks after you were robbed, wouldn't you? So what if you'd have to give your parents and dog sitter new keys..... those who know and love you will get the new keys (or email add.) and those that you want to keep away won't be able to come through the door.

Honestly, a name isn't worth your safety no matter what your name is. ESEPCAILLY since its just an internet name. Many of people willingly change their real names to keep themselves safe. So why fight to keep a madeup one?

**Scooter's Mom** · 03-17-2007, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

Thats the problem, I cannot change my MSN.. I am kingrattus all over the internet & have been for nearly 8yrs now... I was kingrattus here too, but I wont go there... Everything I have & do is Kingrattus... I love Kingrattus & cannot part with it because of a guy... GAH... this sucks, why couldn't he just have stayed away

For your own safety, you'd be amazed at what you can actually do.

I know too many people who have had ex-boyfriends harm them, TWO who have died at the hands of an ex-boyfriend they felt sure would never actually hurt them, and a minor little thing like a computer username would never hold me back from protecting myself.

Please, be cautious.

**kuhio98** · 03-16-2007, 12:32 PM

I'm missing something here. Very confused as to why this is a problem. You dated for a month. That's all? That's not a relationship.

He contacted you and said he's out of rehab and has a job. That's not a threat. Just don't respond to his message. Or do.... just congratulate him and tell him good luck. Then go on with your life.

Why all the drama? Did I miss something?