Are you a party person?

[jenluckenbach]

Do you like going to and/or giving parties? I do not. I mean it is wonderful to be wanted and invited, but I fear being around a lot of people, especially if I do not know most of them. I am simply no good at it.

Maybe it is my lack of experience (after all, I am hardly ever actually ASKED to attend a party. And I don't know enough people to actually HAVE a party) so I feel uncomfortable AT a party.....know what I mean?

I'd be interested in knowing if there is anyone else like me.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I don't really like parties either. When there are too many people, you don't really get to talk anyone and if you don't know anyone then it's kind of uncomfortable...for me anyway, I'm not one of those people who instantly feels familiar with everyone. Also, my husband and I don't drink so I don't like parties where there's lots of alcohol.

So, you aren't alone!!! There are plenty of other things to do anyway.

[Ginger's Mom]

Hi Jen, I am definitely like you. What I say is I am not a people person. I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people even if I do know most of them. I am not a good conversationalist, so I don't say much. Then I go home and beat myself up for not talking or getting involved. Or I will say something that is extremely stupid or not right for the situation and go home and beat myself up for that (not literally, of course). So the end result is, I usually go home from parties not feeling very good about how things went. Long answer, but my way of saying I know how you feel.

[Glacier]

I love hosting them. We have had some legendary bbq/bonfire parties. Our New Year's Eve party this year was a riot, complete with bbq burgers, crib tournment and a huge bonfire. I think there were about 50 people here. I always host a "Yukon orphans" dinner at Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving for friends who have no family here. I love cooking a big, fancy meal. I can't wait til we drill our well--then I won't have to worry about running out of water while people are here!

Stuart is extremelly socialable. He'll go anywhere, anytime, doesn't care if he knows a soul at the party. He can talk to anyone about almost anything. I'm much more comfortable in my own home. When we go out to a party, I tend to stay close to Stuart until I feel more comfortable or get a couple drinks into me, whichever comes first! Usually someone will ask about our dogs and I can talk for hours about them.

[captain]

Stuart is extremelly socialable. He'll go anywhere, anytime, doesn't care if he knows a soul at the party. He can talk to anyone about almost anything. I'm much more comfortable in my own home. When we go out to a party, I tend to stay close to Stuart until I feel more comfortable or get a couple drinks into me, whichever comes first! Usually someone will ask about our dogs and I can talk for hours about them.

This is John and I - in reverse. I can talk to anyone, anytime ............. and John is the quiet one ......

Although I LOVE being at home too - especially the new house. It is so relaxing ...
I also like having people over ...... although all I do is run, run, run ......... being the "ultimate" host (i.e. the host who makes sure everyone else has a drink, and then wonders where HER drink is ... )

Tamara - as for the dogs .......... that brings all my friends out of their shells ..

[cloverfdx]

Yep i love parties/ BBQs/ socialising with fellow Flyballers anything realy . I'm set for the night when someone mentions dogs lol .

[K9karen]

i'm as outgoing as can be! bring it ON!! there's a whole group of us that have been hanging out for years, so it's not really partying, more like constant socializing. but john and i are always getting invited to weddings and social functions. now that i'm one handed-hence no caps..too hard...i've been invited out more than ever! everyone jokes that my cry for attention works..LOL. before i got hurt, and cooked something special, i always invited neighbors, friends or john's kids to come over. i love people. went to a street fair today, lots of activity and best of all, dogs, so i met so many super sweet happy to chat about their dogs, people. i take after my dad, while my mom and brother were/are the introverts.

[Lizzie]

I loved parties in my teens and early twenties, I went out partying most nights of the week (and I was a nurse, so I can't believe now that I had the energy). However, as others have posted, as I got older I enjoyed them less and less. When I was married, in my late twenties and into my late thirties, we threw many parties and dinner parties. I thoroughly enjoyed planning them, organizing everything, cooking, making my home hospitable, but with the first ring of the doorbell I'd wish I was the "help" and not the hostess. However, my then husband was extremely sociable and came into his own at that point. It was really good team work.

I'm perfectly comfortable meeting strangers and don't have trouble starting a conversation, but I do find large gatherings boring so I avoid them as much as I can. A dinner party for about six is the best kind of social gathering for me.

I appreciated Lisa's remark about introverts and extroverts. I'm an introvert and definitely need to be alone to recharge. I'm half-way through a two week home holiday at present and really enjoying it. The only people I've talked to over the past 11 days are those at the shelter for about an hour last weekend and the techs at the vet hospital for half-an-hour. Of course, the fact that I've adopted 8 cats over the past 3 weeks or so has kept me very busy. How can I want to socialize with people when I'm so busy getting to know them?!

[jenluckenbach]

I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people even if I do know most of them. I am not a good conversationalist, so I don't say much. Then I go home and beat myself up for not talking or getting involved. Or I will say something that is extremely stupid or not right for the situation and go home and beat myself up for that (not literally, of course). So the end result is, I usually go home from parties not feeling very good about how things went.

This is me to a T. I thank you for your honesty (and P_C too).

I really wish I could be more of a party type, but I guess I am too old to learn.

I am glad to hear both sides of the story too, so keep on posting!

[Laura's Babies]

In my "hay day" I was always the life of every party! I got invited because they knew I would get people talking to one another and liven up the party so that everyone had fun... When I went to work on the river and moved to Florida, my "group" sort of died away and the partying ended...

I can strike up a conversation anywhere, I never meet a stranger!

[Kfamr]

Yes and no.

If the party is legal safe fun, than YES.

However, I'm uncomfortable and incredibly antsy at parties with kids who seem to think they're incredibly cool for doing drugs, underage drinking, etc. I often find myself and my close friends just leaving or going outside of the party and having our own fun.

[slleipnir]

I feel really uncomfortable around people I don't know REALLY well, so no. I use to go to flyball parties a lot, and I usually sat by myself. I just don't know how to talk to some people. I admired a lot of the people at flyball, so I found it especially hard to talk to them. I wanted them to like me, so I guess I put the pressure on myself. If it's a party with family and close friends, then yes, I like them.

[chocolatepuppy]

I really like being home. After working all week, I'd rather stay home with my furkids. I see people all week at work, I guess I don't feel the need to socialize much on weekends.

[carole]

No i hate parties, going to them , having them,(although i am way more secure in my own surroundings, i would
feel nothing is good enough that i do) if an invite comes in i panic completely and get in a right state, but then i am social phobic, but it appears i am far from alone in that on PT,hate hate hate parties with a passion. I wish it could be different, it must be wonderful to feel happy and elated at going out to a social function, i so wish i could experience that once in my lifetime, I envey those who do.

Having said all that , alot of people would never guess i am that way and are quite suprised, i can hold a conversation one on one on problem at all, and most people find me friendly, but i am an introvert, my mother is the same, although worse IMO, honestly i believe it is genetic, i am lucky i have bred two children, especially my daughter who have not inherited my lack of socialising skills, infact Melissa i would describe as an extrovert, Scott somewhere inbetween, Hubby is also somewhere in between.

I believe alot of it comes down to lack of self esteem,and of course it is a fear like any other.,it is just very mis-understood, and is difficult for people to understand.

Jen i empathise with you 100 per cent, and understand where you are coming from, it would not necessarily be the people at the baby shower, it is really i believe down to you and how you are feeling about yourself at the time, from my own experience, i can handle some situations quite well at times and others i am a complete mess, even i cannot understand it myself, so no wonder others have difficulty with it ,please feel free to Pm me anytime, i have struggled with this all my life , but now have a inner peace with it all,because i have stopped trying to fit in and please other people, pick and choose my social events, which are far and few between, and only go to things i think i am capable of handling,although they say we have to face our fears to overcome them, for me that has not worked all my life, so now i am doing what is right and and comfortable for me and i am much happier and my anxiety is lifted because i do not feel pressured anymore, there are some things i just cannot avoid and must do,those are a challenge, but you cannot avoid some family outings and funerals that kind of thing, so one must do what one must do.

Take heart in knowing so many others on PT are like you and understand and wish to share and help you.

On a lighter note, that is why PT is such a great place for people who find it hard to socialise in public, here you can open up , be yourself and be the person you might want to be in person , if you get my drift, also a great outing for social phobics is the movie theatre, hidden in the dark, totally relaxed, oblivious to those around you, my fav outing.

[Mad Mags Moo]

Mmmm, tough one, when i was younger i would be the life and soul of the party always joking and laughing but now I am lonely, just got my cats, husband and my job. Worse since I moved down from scotland to england 4 years ago. More i don't go out the worse i get and worry that people don't like me.
Going off topic...sorry! Give me my pussy cats, hubby and some good films to watch and i am happy but i wish i could go out and let the old me out!