This morning my alarm went off at 10 and I heard this terrible meow and I jumped out of bed because I knew what that kind of meow meant. It meant Ying was having diabetic seizures. I found him all straightened out in a coma and he was howling. I threw some clothes on and rushed him to the vet. They took him in the back and the nurse came in a little later and told me a doctor would be in to talk to me. He came in and told me Ying had passed and I said no no please make him come back etc. Even though I knew these things are bad I never expected for him to die. I was hysterical and was in shock and couldn't believe what he was saying, I kept saying I want to see him i want to see him bring him to me. he left and I saw one of the other vets that had treated him before when this happened and I was crying and she came in and talked to me. It is all my fault and i willl never forgive mysef for not getting him to the vet ooner. The other day he wasn't acting himself and last night he really wasn't acting himself and I didn't take him. I was planning on taking him and the other diabetcis on Friday. But I jsut wasn't thinking and I should have seen he needed to go then and not wait. If I had taken I had taken himthen he would still be alive. Poor Yang doen't have his brother because of me. I told my vet that I had to show Yang Ying so he would know what happened so she told mew to take him home and let him see him and the others too. I cried so hard. Yang went up to him and kept smeeling him and then started licking his ear and pawing at him. Gracie my dog who is Ying's good friend went up and smelled him. I jsut can't stand this. I want Ying back!!!!! I want him alive and I am very angry at myself and God right now. I laid down on the couch with ying in my lap like we do evry day and night and Gracie and the other end of the couch and Yang on the top of the couch over my head. I laid there in the dark telling Ying how sorry I was that I didn't help him and told Yang I was sorry. Ying kept licking him, it was so sad to see Yang clean Ying's face because usually it is Ying that cleans Yang. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle this. It isn't the same with one and not the otheer... I took him back to the vet tonight so he can be =cremated and I was planning on dropping the other three off tomorrow but the nurse came out and siad that my vet siad that until I get a zero balance that I can't take any there.. My bill is at 743.00 right now because of all that has happened in the last year with now 4 off my babies dying. I don't know what I am going to do, I really need to take them but I can't. The only thing I can think of is putting the fish bed in the marketplace the ones I was going to rent a booth for at the cat show in dec and see if anyone one buys them. I don't know what else to do. Even if I get a second job it wil be time before I get paid. Honestly if I didn't have the others to take care of I think I would jsut lay down and die. Ying is dead because of me and I want him back so much I jsut can't stand it.
Bookmarks