My Aspergers

[clarebear]

As most of you know that I have a mild form of Aspergers.

I just want to explain it to you and to make it easier for you to understand me better.

I always feel like people are trying to be insulting even though they arent most of the time,

Like for example (I had to think hard for this one cause its hard to explain AS)

If I had a few months to live (and I dont I am just saying IF), and someone I know said to me "time is running out" to do something for them , I think they were being funny and nasty, even though they didnt mean it like that

I am sometimes unable to read signs of peoples attidues and jokes.

[Prairie Purrs]

My nephew (who is 16) is mildly autistic, and he tends to take things literally. When he was younger, for example, you didn't dare tell him jokingly to "go jump in a lake," because he'd think he was really supposed to do it. He's gotten very good at recognizing (and dishing out) sarcasm, though--no doubt because in our family, he gets a lot of practice.

Some researchers believe that Albert Einstein and Issac Newton had Asperger's. And there has been a huge increase in recent years in diagnosis of various forms of autism among children in the United States.

[beeniesmom]

Thank you for telling us about your Aspergers.
Thanks for coming back to PT. You are a great addition.

[Jessika]

That probably took a lot to comeout and say you have a medial condition like this, and explain it to us. I thank you for it and am also glad you decided to stay!!

For future reference though, if you do think something is rude or offensive, why not bring it up with them personally?? I know you said you don't want them to think that you took what they said to be rude, but I think in most cases they would be VERY happy that you took it upon yourself to talk to them privately rather than think their comment was rude/insulting and would be happy to explain themselves!! This is just my opinion though and a suggestion that I think will help make your stay here as best as possible

[Miss Z]

i don't have aspergers but sometimes i read my posts and have horrible thoughts that some of the things i have put in them could be offensive to someone. When i write them, they never seem to be. i would never be nasty to anyone on here, but sometimes i seem to have a funny way of replying to things.

As i said, i would never be purposefully offensive on here, everyone is far too nice for that !

[clarebear]

I know what you mean about thinking your posts are rude when they are not.

I worry like that all the time. I like to double check my posts before I submit them

[Laura's Babies]

See, we are learning new things here all the time! This is something I had never heard of and doing a quick search on the web I found this that explaines it..

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/

A small insert of what they say'

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".

It takes a lot to admit that we are imperfect on a open forum but there are some of us here that have our own crosses to bare too. I am prone to anxiety attacks myself, in some situations where I feel threatened or pressed into something that I don't want to do or situations where I know I am going to be treated unfairly or badly. This last year I have come to having them when someone in my family is in danger before the danger actually occurs.

It helps US to know what you have so we will try to be careful of situations before they occur. I too, say things that I think someone may take wrong and keep my fingers crossed that they will take it in the lighthearted spirit I meant it in.

(gee, in previewing this post, I now realize I almost fit that descripiton to a "T" of AS...)

[carole]

I think it is always good to double check your posts, I do as well, because you type things out and then once you re-read them you often think to yourself heck that does not sound how i really mean't it.

Thanks Clarebear for coming here and explaining things to us, we cannot understand if we simply have no idea what you are dealing with, maybe more of us can now be a little more sensitive to your situation and now begin to understand where you are coming from.

My advice is to just be you, and if you feel hurt or someone is being rude, then say so and tell them why, a PM is probably the best way to handle it, other than that, just enjoy what PT has to offer and in no time you will feel part of this special family, if not already.

Hey and don't worry we can all be a tad over-sensitive at times, myself included, it is called being a human being lol.

[finn's mom]

I know what you mean about thinking your posts are rude when they are not.

I worry like that all the time. I like to double check my posts before I submit them

Ha ha, you're ahead of some of the people here already. Everyone should double check their posts. But, yeah, and another thing everyone (not just you) should consider doing more often...send a private message to someone...I've sent many myself and I can tell you that doing that has prevented a lot of public ugliness. Sending a pm makes it so that no one else is able to say anything nasty...and, it doesn't become a ten page testament to how horrible people can be. With private messages, it's just you and that person. And, it usually only takes a handful of messages to calm the water. If you're not sure of what someone is saying, ask them. Or, like I offered the other day, ask someone else first if you should be offended. Someone not in the situation can oftentimes see more clearly the possible intent of a post you may not understand. Anyway, I'm glad that you're back.

[.sarah]

i don't have aspergers but sometimes i read my posts and have horrible thoughts that some of the things i have put in them could be offensive to someone. When i write them, they never seem to be. i would never be nasty to anyone on here, but sometimes i seem to have a funny way of replying to things.

As i said, i would never be purposefully offensive on here, everyone is far too nice for that !

Oh man, I'm the exact same way. I always double check my posts but still there are people who take it the wrong way. I know of two people already who don't like me ... or at least didn't like my posts. It sucks, because if I wanted to directly offend someone, it would be done in private. Most of the time, I am joking and people tend to take things literally.

Clarebear, I'm glad you're back.

[elizabethann]

Thank you for telling us about your Aspergers.
Thanks for coming back to PT. You are a great addition.

Clarebear, did you leave? I must have missed that post. But I'm glad you came back too. I love reading your threads.

[clarebear]

Oh man, I'm the exact same way. I always double check my posts but still there are people who take it the wrong way. I know of two people already who don't like me ... or at least didn't like my posts. It sucks, because if I wanted to directly offend someone, it would be done in private. Most of the time, I am joking and people tend to take things literally.

Clarebear, I'm glad you're back.

Thanks. I always double check in my reply box as I am typing this. There will always be someone confused (abit like me lol) about peoples posts and take things the wrong way.


Part of life I guess..

[Jessika]

Yes clarebear you can NEVER please everyone, so theres no use trying. All you can do is be yourself and not purposely try to be rude, and that's all anyone asks for

[clarebear]

Yes clarebear you can NEVER please everyone, so theres no use trying. All you can do is be yourself and not purposely try to be rude, and that's all anyone asks for

I know

Has anyone heard of this saying

"if you cant like yourself, how can others?"

or something like that

[Jessika]

I have, and it makes perfect sense!!