Opinions please re school dilemma

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I would like an opinion on the following:

On Wednesday (ie just before the start of our weekend here) my Son (aged 16) received a group assignment in one of his classes. The assignment is due today. Now the problem is that the other 3 or 4 people in the group could not get together over the weekend as it was such short notice, and so they havent been able to finish the assignment. (They have all done their individual pieces but it has to be presented by the group to the class and teacher, and they have had no time to practice).

This assignment counts towards my Son's end of year marks, so it is important that he does well. The next class they have with this teacher is on Wednesday, so Cameron wanted to stay off school today, so that they would have time until Wednesday to practice their presentation. I didn't let him stay off the whole day, but as this lesson is the LAST one of the day, I have arranged that I will come to the school at 2nd recess with an excuse and take him out early.

My parents were NEVER flexible or supportive at all with things like this, and I really resented them growing up. He does understand that this is an exceptional case, and will not happen again in a hurry.

QUESTION:

Do you think that it was the right thing to do, allowing him to "skip" the class so he can get a better mark, or am I setting a bad example?

[zippy-kat]

I think that "good" kids (good being defined by good grades, no trouble-making, etc etc etc) deserve a little time off every now and then.

If he's been in attendance for the majority of the class (sans any sick days, etc.) then I don't see where one day will make a difference. And, it's not like he was goofing off... he was working on a school related project! (Kudos to him for that will power! I think I'd have tried to sleep or watch tv! )

If you're happy and confident with your decision, then I think it was the best choice.

[Soapets]

As long as he uses the time off for what it is meant to be used for, I don't see any problems with it. If he doesn't use it for the purpose of doing this school work, there should be some unpleasant consequences!

Are the others in the group going to take time off from school also, so they can practice their presentation as a group? If not, what good will it do to have your son out if the others aren't able to meet with him to practice?

[Samantha Puppy]

My mom would do the same thing. I think it's cool of you to be understanding and help him out - it is in his best interest. But as soapets said, if he doesn't use his "time off" to work on this project, there should be a serious consequence.

[Rachel]

I don't think there is any right or wrong here, but school is a means where children learn lessons for the working world. Somehow you will need to impress upon him that time management and planning ahead are as important (if not more important) as the grade he earns on this particular assignment.

I'm also wondering why the concern was not addressed directly to the particular teacher who gave the assignment. That is the person (the equivalent of the boss in the working world) who maybe should have been approached with a request for additional time.

[Logan]

I hate group assignments for this very reason. I know Helen has had them and ended up doing the bulk of the work because the others can't ever get together to get it done. If that was the only time they could rehearse, then I think you did the right thing, but like Rachel, I might have asked the teacher to set aside some time during her class, first, for them to rehearse. After all, it was her assignment causing the problem.

Good luck.
L.

[Cataholic]

You are his parent. IMO, you can take him out of school for any reason under the sun. Mental health days, cause you want to spend some time with him doing something that could not be addressed on the weekend, sick day, etc. I don't like it when the school tries to manipulate the parent/child relationship. If ONE day (or even two days) of school are going to make/break a child's learning, something is wrong.

If, as an adult, I can determine when I want/need to take time off work, then, why can't a parent make that same determination for thier child? Who is the boss here? The school system/teacher, or the parent?

To further antagonize- IMO, talking to the teacher is the WRONG move. Too many of them might take your criticism/direction out on the child.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Originally posted by Cataholic
You are his parent. IMO, you can take him out of school for any reason under the sun. Mental health days, cause you want to spend some time with him doing something that could not be addressed on the weekend, sick day, etc. I don't like it when the school tries to manipulate the parent/child relationship. If ONE day (or even two days) of school are going to make/break a child's learning, something is wrong.

If, as an adult, I can determine when I want/need to take time off work, then, why can't a parent make that same determination for thier child? Who is the boss here? The school system/teacher, or the parent?

To further antagonize- IMO, talking to the teacher is the WRONG move. Too many of them might take your criticism/direction out on the child.

That is EXACTLY how I feel about it Johanna!! This teacher in particular is NOT the sort pf peron who you could site down with, explain the situation and ask for an extention to the deadline - and I know that if I tried to interfere with the class work she would only take it out on Cameron.

Anyway I did go ahead and pick him up early, so now his team have until Wednesday to practice their presentation - as they couldn't do it today with one team member "absent"

[lizbud]

If you son is the main spokeperson for this group effort, then
he could use the time to prepare the presentation. If everyone
knows their parts and it's a group presentation (one by one)
they should be able to go ahead. It's a shame they didn't have
more time to practice. Good luck.

[Rachel]

Originally posted by Cataholic


To further antagonize- IMO, talking to the teacher is the WRONG move. Too many of them might take your criticism/direction out on the child.

In no way was I suggesting that the parent approach the teacher, but the students involved in the assignment. Certainly a request by them for additional time shouldn't be taken as a criticism, merely an explanation of the situation in which they found themselves.

[PJ's Mom]

I have 3 kids in high school and have done this from time to time. They're my kids and I can take/keep them out of school whenever I want.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

My nearly 16-year old daughter Indra has this problem too. She lives about 15 km away from her school, and most other students live far away from her. So everytime she gets a group assignment, it is a problem to get together a few times ! . Last year, she did a project all alone, just because she didn't have the possibility to work in group! Up till now, there haven't been any other problems; but if necessary, I would certainly call that teacher and explain the situation( and if necessary I would talk to the school director!). I wouldn't keep her home, because she would miss other important lessons then.... .

[Tonya]

As long as your child doesn't take advantage of you I don't see a problem with it. I used to miss school for my finals and big projects. I worked when I was in highschool and sometimes there just wasn't enough hours in the day for me to get things finished. That was the only way I was able to keep good grades.