I need all the hugs you can spare.

[jenluckenbach]

I will admit that this thread is not cat related. And I will further admit that I only wanted to post it here, and not general, as this is where I am the most comfortable.

I am terribly depressed. I have been crying myself SICK! And all over a person who I concidered a great friend and one who obviously has not returned the feeling.

The hurt is real and it is devastating. My mind will not allow me to move past it. I dwell and I dwell, wondering what could be so wrong with me to make someone, who for over a year and a half has, told me they loved me (as a dear friend) all of a sudden not even want me to send an email.

This hurts is equal to the loss of my friend to an untimely death 2 years ago. How can I lose 2 close friends in such short amount of a time and still continue to function?

Just so you know where I stand, I have begun working with a psychiatrist to find a medicine to help my uncontrolled depression (which I have had most of my life) and will begin to talk to a councellor (even though I can not forsee it helping).

I do not feel very good about myself right now. I have always hated myself and when people do things like this to me it just serves to prove how unworthy I am and how unloved.

I am sorry to burden you all with a depressing thread, but I need shoulders......LOTS of shoulders to cry on.

[joycenalex]

*((HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*HUG)*( HUG)

[joycenalex]

oh yeah, you are a special blessing from god and are worthy of unconditional love , today, tomorrow and always.

[catcrazylady]

Jen I have no idea what the story is behind all this but as with all people that we love feelings get hurt very easy. Maybe this is just a bad time in this other persons life and they are letting their anger out on you. All humans have a tendancy to get very angry at many things and then one small thing said or done by someone you love and trust seems to cause the volcano to erupt! I think that is because you trust that person enough to let your feelings out and they end up catching the brunt of lifes problems.
What makes you so sure that it is you Jen? Maybe you did something to agitate this person at a bad time and a mole hill became a mountain. Don't be so quick to blame yourself. Even if you did something horrible to this person all you can do is apologize and a true friend would try to understand whatever happened. I find it hard to believe that you could do something that bad to anyone!
Hang tough Jen and quit beating yourself up. It sounds like you are doing everything possible to get to your inner self and deal with your feelings so IMO the next step belongs to your friend.
Nobody that does as much good as you do can be as bad as you seem to think of yourself! Don't ever forget that in the end we answer to only one and He knows your heart.

{{{HUGS}}}

[K & L]

Depression is a nasty thing that can make us feel and do things we wouldn't under normal circumstances. I'm no professional here, but want to encourage you to start looking at all the positive things in your life. You have a wonderful husband, home, and heart. Look what you do for creatures no one even cares about. This friend was not a true friend to act this way. The ONLY thing you could blame yourself for is poor judgement, which we all have at times! I'm glad you're seeking a professional to help you through this! Keep in mind all the people here that love and respect you! If you ever need to talk, please give me a call! Just PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Hang in there Jen we all LOVE you!

[slick]

Jen:
I've just sent you and email.

slick
xoxo

[chrangharris]

Hugs and prayers are coming your way!

[LoudLou]

HUGE HUGS

[catnapper]

{{{{HUGS}}}} I am sorry all this is happening. Please take the time to hugs Charlie and the cats, and ask them for purr therapy. I am sure this will pass and you two will be friends again.

You know I think you are a WONDERFUL, fun, vibrant woman. I don't know what else to say, so I'll just give you some more hugs

{{{{HUG}}}}

{{{{HUG}}}}

{{{{HUG}}}}

[prechrswife]

((((((Hugs))))))

[lbaker]

The weather outside is cold today but the love and thoughts from your friends here will hopefully keep you warm. Put your right arm around your left shoulder RIGHT NOW, JUST DO IT! And your left arm around your right shoulder.. JEN, don't worry if it looks funny now squeeze tightly and give yourself a HUG.. that's from us
Laurie

[catmandu]

Huga,are coming from the Found Cats,and I,and I will try,to get you,on the phone,tonight.Jen,you are a Good Person,and Our Hero,and you cant lets an idiots lack,of consideration,get you down,as she is the unworthy one,not you.Please dont get depressed,over someones meaness.You have the love,and respect,of everyone,on Pet Talk,all the people,that I have spoken, to,on the phone,think so highly of you.Gary,The Found Cats,Stary Cats and Pet Angels.

[ChrisH]

Depression is an awful thing I know and when someone 'dumps' on you it makes it 100 times worse. {{Big hugs}} to you dear lady.

Chris
p.s. I sent you a pm

[trayi52]

Jen, I want you to know that I am here for you. You was there for me when I was so down I just didn't feel like I would never be able to get up again, as all the wonderful people of Pet Talk was.

We all love you! Please feel better soon. If you need me, I am here just like a store that stays open 24/7!

You are such a warm hearted, beautiful person. With so many of us thinking you are the greatest thing to happen to this world since the wheel was invented, shucks you are just wonderful, wouldn't trade you for the wheel!

Love,
Willie

[christa]

Jen: I am so sorry what you're going through. Did you know that depression is considered a disease? It can completely destroy your life if you don't get a hold of it. Your depression mixed with the losses of your friends, imo, is dangerous for you. I am glad to hear that you are talking to a professional. I know you don't think it will help, but believe me, it will!

Depression runs in our family. I know what it can do to a person if it isn't recognized and isn't treated. You have to come to terms with the fact that you can't solve everyone's problems. You have to take care of yourself.

Just please be very open to this professional help that you are seeking! It's the best thing to talk about it.

{{{Hugs}}}