When watching the Republican National Convention:
Either take a drink or donate $1 to the Democratic party for every time:
--A speaker claims the economy is getting better.
--The words "optimism" or "optimistic" are used.
--A speaker praises a government program for which Republicans have already cut funding or proposed cutting funding in order to pay for the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, including but not limited to: Head Start; the WIC nutrition program; homeownership, job-training, medical research and science programs; community-oriented policing and veterans' health care; or any of the following departments or agencies in line for budget cuts: Education, the EPA, the National Institutes of Health, National Science Foundation, Small Business Administration, Social Security Administration, or Interior.
--A speaker misappropriates the Olympics for political purposes.
--President Bush is referred to as a "uniter".
--"Compassion".
--No Child Left Behind is mentioned as an example of successful educational reform. Double if Republicans mention how woefully underfunded it is, passing on massive unfunded mandates to local school districts.
--Republicans claim to have passed meaningful prescription drug reform, despite the fact that no one is signing up for the cards and no one understands how they work.
--Someone attacks Massachusetts, Hollywood or "liberals". Double if two are invoked in a row.
--A former Republican President is name-checked. For Reagan, Lincoln or Bush I, one drink; for Teddy Roosevelt, Eisenhower, or Ford, two drinks; for Richard Nixon, finish what you're drinking and call your cable company, because your tv is obviously broken.
--Dick Cheney makes a self-deprecating joke about his lack of charisma.
--A speaker gratuitously starts speaking en español. Double if the pronunciation is botched.
--Someone is shown dancing who, quite clearly, should not be dancing in public.
--The Bush daughters are shown on-screen. Double if they're seated with the Olsen twins.
And if you see any of these things mentioned, it's worth double:
--A speaker acknowledges that since 2000, median household income is down; an additional 5.2 million are without health insurance (45 million Americans in all) and an additional 4.3 million Americans now live in poverty.
--A speaker acknowledges that 12.9 million children now live in poverty.
--Anyone mentions the number of jobs lost to outsourcing, or announces a plan to stem the tide or at least retrain workers whose jobs have been shipped overseas.
--Anyone discusses our failure to find any of the promised WMDs, or the costs of the war or reconstruction of Iraq, or the over-extension of our troops overseas.
--Anyone mentions the 1.8 million private sector jobs lost since early 2001.
--If presidential nephew George P. Bush, ever-present four years ago and missing ever since, reappears.
--Someone mentions Halliburton, Enron or Worldcom.
--In 2000, then-Governor Bush said at his Convention that "I don't deserve all the credit, and I don't attempt to take it. I work with Republicans and Democrats to get things done." If he says anything close to that again, just drop your jaw dumbfoundedly.
--Dan Quayle is spotted.
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Taken & slightly edited from http://www.hoeffelforsenate.com/blog/index.cfm
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