Latest episode about my Stepdad - so annoying!

[Kirsten]

I know, I posted about him before, about the way he always annoys me when he comes to visit, because he's just not respecting the way I want my cats to be treated.

Unfortunately, I'm totally depending on him and my mother at the moment, because I'm not allowed to do much after the back surgery.

However, they just showed up here to bring me some things they bought for me and to pick up a letter for the mail office. Because the blue carpet in my bedroom looked very messy (vacuum cleaning is stricly forbidden for at least 6 weeks after surgery) I asked them to do that for me, and because the bag in my own vaccuum cleaner is full, we went downstairs to Gabi's place to borrow hers. Well, that was when the argument began.

You know, I'm terribly frightened that the cats accidently sneak out when the apartment door is opened. Not only that there's the danger to fall through the banisters, I know that at least Lily wouldn't hesitate a second to go outdoors in case the front door is opened. So I have to be very very careful when I'm leaving, and it has happened to me several times that Lily ran into the stairways, she's just too fast. SInce I know how easily this happens, visitors are told to be careful as well - and everyone is, except my step dad!

You won't believe it, but last week, when he brought me home from hospital, he left the door wide open when he left - even though he has been told a hundred times how important it is to close it!! I was only lucky that I saw the open door 30 seconds after he has left, Luna was half out there already, and luckily Lily hasn't noticed. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if I didn't see that!!!

Needless to say, I confronted him later, and - since he never respects my wishes when it comes to the cats - I wasn't very nice.

Well, and today, when we left to walk upstairs to Gabi's place for the vaccuum, he intentionally left the door open, much longer than necessary, and pushed my hand away when I wanted to close it. Only to tease me and to show me he doesn't take me serious. Of course I got really angry, but when we brought the vaccuum back downstairs, he did it again. Needless to say, I was furious! And my mom??? Instead of being understanding, she got mad at me and called me ungrateful. Then she talked to him as if I wasn't there: "Reinhold, it's better when you're not going to visit her anymore. You're trying to help her and all she does is blaming you, it's bad for your health..." Then they left.

Boy, am I mad at the moment!!! You know, it's not the first time they got me so angry because of this, so I'm sorry for venting...

Kirsten

[ramanth]

Oh, how RUDE!!

Do you have anyone else that would be willing to come over and help you so your stepdad doesn't?

[PayItForward]

I am sorry , he is being such a jerk.

He should respect your choice of being owned by inside only cats

What about placing your cats, in your bedroom with a litter tray water and toys and the door firmly shut...for his next visit. Then he can leave the main front door open as much as he likes

[sirrahbed]

Please don't be "sorry for venting..." - this is so awfully RUDE of him!!! Not only is it rude, but he is taking advantage of being able to say this to you when you are helpless and in need of help which is twice as bad!! I am also very sad that your mom did not defend and support you That must have felt even worse than what he did ((((((Kirsten))))) I am completely with you on this! That behavior is so disrespectful and mean of him. I hope he does stay home from now on! He is bad for YOUR health!!
It is sad to me that people do not understand that Luna and Lily ARE your children. I don't see why this is so hard to understand. Would they leave the door open for a toddler child? What is the difference in this case? They are not respecting your feelings at all and I know that hurts.

[CatMama78]

I share the same feelings as Debbie. I can totally understand why you would be furious. I too have indoor only kitties and I am also really careful with the door and ask others to do so if they visit. Your stepdad is being extremely rude and inconsiderate . Those are your babies and you are in a time of need - how dare he take advantage of that just to get your goat.

Is there anyone else who might be able to help you? Wish I could!

[Kirsten]

Ahhh, it's so good to talk to people who are understanding!!

Yes, to be honest, it hurts a lot to be not respected by my own family. It has always been like that. Even though they're helping me a lot at the moment (financially, because I cannot work since I got that sick), they never really understood me, I always felt like a stranger in my family. To them, I'm a freak because I prefer to live with cats instead of having a family. I better do not repeat all the comments I always have to listen to when it comes to that!

I wish there would be more people to help me at the moment. I could ask Gabi (neighbor), and she's already helping me a lot, but she has health problems as well and a lot of stress to deal with, so I don't want to bug her all the time. And Lily's first humans, also friends of mine, don't have much time either. They have a handcapped son and three dogs, and one of them cannot be left alone at home. Well, and my other friends don't live close enough, it's really annoying.

Yes, I think it would be the best if my step dad won't show up here anymore. Actually he's no bad guy, but he has absolutely no understanding of the way I'm living with my cats. The other day, he also got me angry. I got new curtains lately and Lily found them very interesting and tried to climb them. Of course she was told it's a no-no and much to my relief, she lost her interest after a couple of days. And now that jerk encouraged her the other day to climb them. Of course I told him not to do that, but it is so annoying! Whenever he is here, I have to tell him not to do this and that, and basically I'm scolding him all the time. This is what makes my mother mad. But what can I do? He's just so ignorant!!

Kirsten

[catlady1945]

It seems that his behaviour is not normal. He seems a very mean, controlling person. People who have no respect for your rules are very selfish. Is it possible to hire someone to help you a couple of times a week?

[kimlovescats]

"He" is the kind of 'help' I could do without!!!!
I'm sorry you are having to depend on them so much right now ... and that he obviously gets some sort of SICK pleasure out of taunting you!!!!

[trayi52]

I am sorry Kirsten that your stepdad is acting like such an ass****, if I was your mother, he would get a really huge chunk of my mind. I wish she would realize that you are more important than the stepdad!

Its a shame you are not close to us Pet Talkers, we would all be there in a flash to help you, and make sure you didn't hurt yourself. And I promise we would keep the door shut!

It is so hard to know there is a friend stuggling to get something done for her, and there is no way we can all help you.

You feel free to vent all you want, we are here to listen and to fume right along with you.

Take care!

Willie

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
Please don't be "sorry for venting..." - this is so awfully RUDE of him!!! Not only is it rude, but he is taking advantage of being able to say this to you when you are helpless and in need of help which is twice as bad!! I am also very sad that your mom did not defend and support you That must have felt even worse than what he did ((((((Kirsten))))) I am completely with you on this! That behavior is so disrespectful and mean of him. I hope he does stay home from now on! He is bad for YOUR health!!
It is sad to me that people do not understand that Luna and Lily ARE your children. I don't see why this is so hard to understand. Would they leave the door open for a toddler child? What is the difference in this case? They are not respecting your feelings at all and I know that hurts.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Helping people isn't about trying to make the person you're helping feel guilty about it. *groan* I hate when people do that...

I'm with you on this one too. I've experenced this BS first hand...NO ONE should have to be disrespected in this way.

[catnapper]

How completely RUDE! Gosh you are in a bad situation of needing them so much while wanting to tell them to take a leap off the highest rooftop! Is there anything that he loves that you could find a way to destory? bwahahaha. "Hmmm, your priceless car seems to have a huge scratch down the side of it!" Just kidding! But doesn't it feel good to just think about making him feel bad for a moment?

[sirrahned]

Venting is good. AND...it is healthy. Us men can be such jerks sometimes. Do you have any other cat lovers in your building? I think I would trade an entire housefull of relatives for one sensitive neighbor who can help you while you recover.

Hang in there!!

[carole]

Kirsten I share everyone's sentiments here , and agree it is very dis-respectful of him to be in your home and not respect your wishes, what a rude man indeed.

It is a pity your mum cannot see that he is dis-respecting you, she should at least see that.

You have my full empathy, I have no answers to your problem, and I am sorry you are being upset, at a time when you least need it, after your surgery , you need some nice TLC and it saddens me to hear this. HUGS .

[Craftlady]

I'm sorry that your stepdad cant follow the rules at your house. He would expect others to follow rules set at his home but it appears it's different at someone elses home. I would ask mom not to bring stepdad over if it were me until I felt 150% better. Once I felt better I would dish it right back to him. He thinks its cute to remark wonder if he can take the remarks????

[catcrazylady]

Kirsten I'm so sorry! You and I have posted about the ignorance of our Stepfathers and I understand how hurtful it can be. Mine is the one who believes that Magoo should have been put to sleep because of his blindness.
I am very fortunate that my mother is an animal lover and does come to the rescue but it is only her love for the animals that makes that happen. Anything else and I'm on my own.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this especially now while you are trying to recover. Everyone else has said everything that I wanted too so I will just tell you to come here and vent anytime you want! We understand and we love you! You take care and don't let the jerk get you down!

{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}