Jokes wanted

[kingrattus]

I have decided to make a new jokes page for my site. A few ppl have asked for it back.

So what I would like is as many written & photo jokes of dogs. Or anyother type of animal. But I'd really like lots of dog ones.

[magcpen]

Here's one: What is a dog's favorite dance?
The cha-ua-ua.

[primabella]

Someone (not here) posted a site where they have a few jokes. I never got around to reading them because they are about a page long, but I'm sure they're funny because everybody loved them. I'll try to find you the link

[kingrattus]

Thanks for the help u two

I added quite a few photos today, but only a few were dogs. mostly cats & monkies.

Heres the link to my photo jokes, I haven't started my written jokes because I only have 3 so far, hehehe... when I get a few more I'll post it.

so heres the Joke Photos enjoy Oh & a few are of a mature manor, but most-all r found in emails.

[captain]

Here you go :

Inital Joke Thread

[Fuzzy317]

Look for jokes here (I think they are public domain)

Dog Jokes. DogQuotes.com

[primabella]

Here is one page of jokes. I still need to find the others....

Just thought I'd share this one with you all!

If Dogs could Send a Letter to God...



Dear God,

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one

another? Where are their priorities?



Dear God,

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?

Or is it the same old story?



Dear God,

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the

colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How

often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would

it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?



Dear God,

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he

still a bad dog?



Dear God,

If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?



Dear God,

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.



Dear God,

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?



Dear God,

Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at

the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the

Schnauzer across the street.



Dear God,

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?



Dear God,

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,

whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy

fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?



Dear God,

May I have my testicles back?



Dear God,

These are just some of the things I must remember (in order to keep my

present living arrangements):



- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.



- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the

coffee table.



- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under

the bed.



- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.



- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw

it up.



- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in

the house when I am about to get sick.



- I will not throw up in the car.



- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I

like the way they smell.



- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they

are tasty, they are not food.



- I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in

the backyard after processing.



- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.



- I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.



- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my

people will think I am hemorrhaging.



- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down

when it's raining outside.



- We do not have a doorbell. - I will not bark each time I hear one on

television.



- I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard

with them.



- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.



- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's

driver's license and registration.



- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the

toilet.



- I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath.



- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of

saying 'hello.'



- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the

carpet.



- The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply, and just because

the water is blue, doesn't mean it's

cleaner.



- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when

company is over.



- I will remember that suddenly turning around and smelling my rear end

can quickly clear a room.



- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that

noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Do you still need more?

[kingrattus]

more the better

But that joke thread has 72 pages to it!!!! & I'm only on 11 & I've been going through them for about an hour... oi!

But I like the jokes & the help