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Thread: Computer Nerd sayings

  1. 11-14-2010, 10:25 PM #1
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    Computer Nerd sayings

    From http://www.goofball.com/jokes/business/nerd_sayings

    1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

    2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

    3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

    4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

    5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

    6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

    7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

    8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL

    9. C: DOS C: DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN

    10. <--- The information went data way --->

    11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression.

    12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

    13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.

    14. The name is Baud, James Baud.

    15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

    16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

    17. C:> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!

    18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
    Staaay..

    19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or
    filename!'

    20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology
    amusing.

    21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

    22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.

    23. E Pluribus Modem

    24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

    25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the
    Etherbunny.

    26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

    27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

    28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington
    D.C. (Y/N)?

    29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?

    30. A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

    31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium.

    32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

    33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

    34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

    35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

    36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

    37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

    38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

    39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

    40. All computers wait at the same speed.

    41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.

    42. Go ahead, make my data!

    43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

    44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

    45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

    46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

    47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

    48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

    49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

    50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981

    51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to
    CONFIG.SYS

    52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

    53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

    54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!

    55. Press -- to continue ...
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda
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  2. 11-14-2010, 10:55 PM #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression.
    You KNOW someone is going to try it.
    "We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

    "We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

    "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
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  3. 11-14-2010, 11:55 PM #3
    blue's Avatar
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    No "apt-get install awesome"? Or "ssh mordor"?
    I have a HUGE SIG!!!!



    My Dogs. Erp the Cat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas Jefferson
    Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry.
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  4. 11-15-2010, 09:34 AM #4
    lizbud
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    I'm no computer nerd, but I like 'em. Mind if I send these to a few people? LOL. I was going to pick a favorite, but they are all good.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt
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  5. 11-15-2010, 02:07 PM #5
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    56. Managing programmers is like herding cats.

    Unfortunately, the famous YouTube "Cat Herding" video is no longer available (EDS copyright claim).. I was going to include the link.
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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  6. 11-15-2010, 03:18 PM #6
    smokey the elder
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    Well, poop on EDS! They should think of it as a bonus if that ad goes viral!

    You can tell just how dated these are! Pentium 90!? T. Rex era stuff!
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb
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  7. 11-15-2010, 04:33 PM #7
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    I didn't understand any of that. It's all geek to me!
    http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y77/DirtyRat/Toby%20and%20Havoc/compressed.jpg
    more pics
    Havoc's COTD, August 30th, 2009
    I've been boo'd!
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  8. 11-15-2010, 04:44 PM #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by phesina View Post
    56. Managing programmers is like herding cats.

    Unfortunately, the famous YouTube "Cat Herding" video is no longer available (EDS copyright claim).. I was going to include the link.
    Noooooo! That is one of my all-time favorite Super Bowl spots! Boo on EDS.

    What about PEBCAK (Problem exists between chair and keyboard)? Or ID10T errors? Or the person who asked the help line rep where to find the "ANY" key?!
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678
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  9. 11-15-2010, 08:52 PM #9
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    cat herding video

    cat herder - excellent values

    Downloads nice too
    Anne
    Meowmie to Lucy Lou and Barney, and Aunt to Timmy (RIP)

    Former kitties now in foster care: Nellie aka Eleanor van Fluffytail (at a Cat Cafe), Lady Jane Grey, Bob the Bobtail, and Callie. Kimi has been adopted into another family that understands Siamese. HRH Oliver Woodrow von Katz is in a Sanctuary.

    I'm Homeless, but with resources, and learning to live again.


    RIP Timmy (nephew kitty) May 17, 2018, Mr. Spunky (May 10, 2017), Samwise (Dec 2, 2014), Emily (Oct 8, 2013), Rose (Sept 24, 2001), Maggie (Fall 2003)
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  10. 11-15-2010, 09:35 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    Or "ssh mordor"?


    ...I'm going to go hostname one of my systems "mordor" now.

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  11. 11-16-2010, 04:14 AM #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrspunkysmom View Post
    cat herding video

    cat herder - excellent values

    Downloads nice too
    Oh, thank you!
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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  12. 11-16-2010, 10:35 AM #12
    smokey the elder
    smokey the elder is offline Occupant of Group W Bench
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    I love "PEBCAK". I use that one a lot.
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb
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