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Thread: Short window of opportunity

  1. 01-03-2010, 10:41 AM #1
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    kuhio98
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    Short window of opportunity

    Last week I received junkmail trying to sell me some pills that guaranteed multiple orgasms. I recycled it, didn't order the pills, but was secretly pleased that someone out there still considered me young enough -- and hot enough -- to have me on their mailing list to send such crap in the mail.

    Speaking of crap…..


    This week I received junkmail trying to sell me pills that would guarantee I would have a bowel movement every day.


    Soooo, my advice to you all is to enjoy that short window of opportunity (1 week in my case) where you can enjoy the pleasures of multiple orgasms before you start getting geezer mail.
    Ask your vet about microchipping. ~ It could have saved Kuhio's life.
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  2. 01-03-2010, 10:49 AM #2
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    ROFL!!!! That is priceless!!!

    What - no deals on bifocals yet? Those things COST!
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda
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  3. 01-03-2010, 03:19 PM #3
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    Well, at least you weren't getting junk mail about adult protective underwear. (Depends, etc.) Good grief!
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11
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  4. 01-03-2010, 04:27 PM #4
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    LMAO!!! I read this earlier and came back to read it again. So funny!!!
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  5. 01-04-2010, 06:47 AM #5
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    OMG!!! I'm ROFLMAO!! Don't DO that to me!! I'll need the Depends!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!
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  6. 01-04-2010, 04:20 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuhio98 View Post
    Last week I received junkmail trying to sell me some pills that guaranteed multiple orgasms. I recycled it, didn't order the pills, but was secretly pleased that someone out there still considered me young enough -- and hot enough -- to have me on their mailing list to send such crap in the mail.

    Speaking of crap…..


    This week I received junkmail trying to sell me pills that would guarantee I would have a bowel movement every day.


    Soooo, my advice to you all is to enjoy that short window of opportunity (1 week in my case) where you can enjoy the pleasures of multiple orgasms before you start getting geezer mail.
    Consider yourself lucky that you got this mail. They skipped right over me and got directly to the point - info on wills, cemetery plots and caskets. I hate to disappointment them - but I'm being cremated and "buried at sea"!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wolfy ~ Fuzzbutt #3
    My little dog ~ a heartbeat at my feet

    Sparky the Fuzzbutt - PT's DOTD 8/3/2010
    RIP 2/28/1999~10/9/2012
    Myndi the Fuzzbutt - Mom's DOTD - Everyday
    RIP 1/24/1996~8/9/2013
    Ellie - Mom to the Fuzzbuttz

    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power
    To know just when the hands will stop - on what day, or what hour.
    Now is the only time you have, so live it with a will -
    Don't wait until tomorrow - the hands may then be still.
    ~~~~true author unknown~~~~
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  7. 01-04-2010, 04:22 PM #7
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    Thats a good one & your so funny.. I will remember this when I go to the mail box now..

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

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  8. 01-04-2010, 04:26 PM #8
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    LOL, this is friggin' hilarious!! I am cracking up here at my desk. A nice change from this morning when I was crying over Scooter Bug and Duke.
    Our goal in life should be - to be as good a person as our dog thinks we are.

    Thank you for the siggy, Michelle!


    Cindy (Human) - Taz (RB Tabby) - Zoee (RB Australian Shepherd) - Paizly (Dilute Tortie) - Taggart (Aussie Mix) - Jax (Brown & White Tabby), - Zeplyn (Cattle Dog Mix)
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  9. 01-04-2010, 04:37 PM #9
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    Oh, kuhio, don't take it personally - I get emails all the time promising to enlarge a body part I, as a female, don't even have. And I get "baldness cures" promised via email, too - and anyone who has even seen my picture knows that isn't exactly an issue! Never mind all the offers of products for my children - of which we have none!
    I've Been Frosted
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  10. 01-04-2010, 05:46 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen View Post
    Oh, kuhio, don't take it personally - I get emails all the time promising to enlarge a body part I, as a female, don't even have. And I get "baldness cures" promised via email, too - and anyone who has even seen my picture knows that isn't exactly an issue! Never mind all the offers of products for my children - of which we have none!
    Too funny! Kuhio once got a letter from Publisher's Clearing House saying she had won a major prize.

    Halo got a notice to report for Jury Duty.
    Ask your vet about microchipping. ~ It could have saved Kuhio's life.
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  11. 01-04-2010, 05:50 PM #11
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    Our favorite was when I was a teenager, our Great Dane, Gracie, got an offer to join AARP! I think she was maybe 4 at the time ...
    I've Been Frosted
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  12. 01-04-2010, 09:21 PM #12
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    LOL ... my husband got the Senior Citizen discount at a store last week. He's 43. He is STILL talking about it to anyone who will listen, he is so appalled.
    "We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

    "We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

    "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
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  13. 01-04-2010, 09:22 PM #13
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    I just got an email, "Get Breast Implants!"
    I have a HUGE SIG!!!!



    My Dogs. Erp the Cat.

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    Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry.
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  14. 01-04-2010, 09:32 PM #14
    Grace
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuhio98 View Post


    Halo got a notice to report for Jury Duty.
    How on earth did that happen? I thought jury duty names were pulled from driver's license registers?
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  15. 01-04-2010, 09:46 PM #15
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    LOLOLOL!!!
    I'm with you on this one.
    I have 1 e-mail address I can not even use anymore with all that crap I get.
    Now only if those pills really worked. hehehe


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