manners for children?

[joycenalex]

would someone recommend a book that will help me to figure out what is age appropriate manners for a kid? she's 4, she's pretty good on please, thank you, yes ma'am and we're working hard on addressing adults as mister mike (if a family friend for example) or misses sally. when we eaten meals at a resteraunt, i've brought some simple toys to help the fidgets, and so far no problems with wanting to run around post meal (very greatful for that).

[K9karen]

IMO, it doesn't sound like you need a book! Common sense and good parenting prevail. She sounds like a pleasant, well behaved 4 y.o. Bless her (and you)

[Cataholic]

My mom had this book, it was written by someone she knew- really just a little paperback. But, it sounds like the little four year old is on her way. Who is she, if I might ask?

With Jonah, I am not so much into the Mr. and Ms. thing, though they do it at school, and he addresses my bosses as Mr....but, I also instill the holding of the door, picking up things that others have dropped, remembering to say, "I am fine, AND how are you...", returing a compliment by saying, "wasn't that nice to be thought of....", etc.

The restaurant thing is a tough one.** Only now do I feel good about taking him to restaurants (not fast food joints). My purse contains cars, a few crayons, little note pad, etc. I also have an activity pack with markers, paper, and a scissor that stays in the car for restaurants. I also have a portable DVD player that stays in the car, complete with earphones that I have used if Jonah comes to work or, at the hair salon. Even still, at 4, it is hard for him to sit and 'linger' after a meal without getting up and down a bunch of times. Not really that relaxing for me.

**I don't think it is 'fair' to ask kids much younger than 4 to sit still for meals in restaurants, at church, doctor's visits, etc. Yeah, I know, all the kids but mine can do it and have done it since they were 2 minutes old, but, for the rare child that can't do it (like mine), I find it easier to bypass the situation altogether and avoid the stress.

[Cinder & Smoke]

I don't think it is 'fair' to ask kids much younger than 4 to sit still for meals
in restaurants, at church, doctor's visits, etc.
Yeah, I know, all the kids but mine can do it and have done it since they were 2 minutes old,
but, for the rare child that can't do it (like mine), I find it easier to
bypass the situation altogether and avoid the stress.

YOUR Kid, along with Christy's Jasmine and Dominic, are ALL very well behaved -
FAR beyond their years! I wish all "Little Kids" like them were HALF as well
behaved as those three are!

[Cataholic]

YOUR Kid, along with Christy's Jasmine and Dominic, are ALL very well behaved -
FAR beyond their years! I wish all "Little Kids" like them were HALF as well
behaved as those three are!

Oh, yeah? You should have seen him at Don Pablo's two nights ago! He would not stay in his seat after dinner, kept going to the fountain, nearly ran into a waiter carrying drinks (who was kind enough to say, "we are used to it", which cause me to blush with embarrasment). The only thing that brought him back to his seat? He leaned into the fountain, and his foot came off the ground, and he scared himself! (And me).

But thank you, nonetheless. And, he is fairly well behaved for the most part.

[Cinder & Smoke]

[ref: well behaved]

Oh, yeah?
You should have seen him at Don Pablo's two nights ago!

He leaned into the fountain, and his foot came off the ground,
and he scared himself! (And me).

Wha'da ya want - Purfekshun??

At least he didn't take an after-dinner DIP!

(Maybe add a bath towel to your purse kit.)

[Medusa]

I can't recall a book that would be of such help to you but then, I raised my son in the dark ages. LOL I think the best way to teach them manners is just that; teach them, especially by example and never tolerate rudeness. Kids aren't perfect and neither are adults but for the most part, I needed to see that my son was trying to behave in public and just generally being polite. I stressed that he could choose the behavior but not the consequences and that seemed to do it. As a result, I received a lot of compliments about him, even when he was a toddler, and I was never embarrassed to take him anywhere. He carried that politeness through to his teenage years and, on occasion, a sales clerk or wait person would tell me how refreshing it is to see a teenager w/such good manners.

Sounds to me like you're on top of it, you're conscientious and you're endeavoring to raise a child who realizes that that other people indeed do exist. Good job.

[smokey the elder]

It sounds like your daughter is quite the young lady! Good for you and her.

[shepgirl]

I must have raised my kids in the dark ages also because Medussa's post sounds like what I did with my kids. For some reason they just knew what their behavior should be in a public place and we never had a problem taking the kids with us. One thing I've noticed in restaurants is if the parents are loud the kids will also be loud. We always make a point of thanking and congratulating parents with well behaved children in a restaurant or other public place.
You seem to be on the right track with your 4 yr. old and I don't think you need a book to continue with the manners.

[4 Dog Mother]

I wrote a really long answer to this on Saturday but when I went to push submit, something happened and it disappeared. I was too tired to repost.

First off, Phred, thank you for the kind remarks about my grandkids and Jonah too. All 3 are good kids and are doing well with manners but they are still young. No child at their ages is perfect with manners but with the both Johanna and Christy working on it, they are all doing well!

It also sounds like the little girl Joyce is referring to is doing well also. For kids their age I think common sense has more to do with manners than a lot of other things. When going out to eat at a restaurant, be sure you are not taking an over tired already hungry child. Asking a child to wait to even get to a table for any length of time is a set-up for trouble. Like Johanna said bring little things to keep them busy. Ask the waitress for crackers or applesauce to be brought right away. Sometimes if one of us colors with them they are more apt to do the coloring than if we expect them to entertain themselves. Also tic tac toe and things can keep them busy.

If you have a shy child, manners may take longer. Dominic can hide his head in a shoulder refusing to acknowledge another's presence at all. Trying to force an already shy child will only be met with refusal to be a part of any thing.

I think most manners are also things you as an adult already know and by observing the child can judge what is age appropriate. Once they can handle a fork and spoon and make it to their mouth with food intact, they are ready to be reminded to always use their fork and spoon. Also most kids do by example.

As far as books, I am sure they are out there but I don't know where to find them.

[kitten645]

I sell quite a few of these at my store. People seem to love it.

http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Can-Fu...2400382&sr=1-1

Claudia