How do you want your funeral?

[Tonya]

I hope this thread isn't to depressing. To me it isn't because I believe there is a better place. After going through my grandfather's death and Mike's cousin's this year, I am realizing how important it is to let your loved ones know what your wishes are. It is really overwhelming when family is grieving to try and figure anything out.

We were talking about this after Guy's funeral yesterday, and sharing our wishes. I said that I just want to be cremated and the money to be donated to an animal shelter in lieu of flowers. I said that they can either throw a big happy party or donate some time to a shelter. Everyone (except my MIL who is an animal lover) burst into laughter. They thought I was joking.

[catnapper]

Well, first off, everyone knows that I want every usable organ to be donanted to another human in need. I don;t know about cremation vs. burial. I guess I'd leave that up to the remaining family.. whatever would make them come to terms best. Would they feel better burying a casket or scattering my ashes somewhere they thing I'd be happy? I do know that if they had a casket I do NOT want an open casket. A huge family fight happened when my grandmom died. It was her last wish to have a closed casket and my uncle ignred it and made the funeral home have an open casket viewing.

I want a huge party CELEBRATING my life afterwards. I don't want people sitting around bawling their eyes out I want them to laugh and tak about how their lives were touched by me. Tell funny stories of the dumb things I've done (I'm an airhead who means well, so I tend to do some really air-headed things.) I want them to talk about those things and walk away with happy memories instead of sad ones. That is also why I don't want an open casket... because I don't want their last memory of me to be one of a waxen looking body in a casket.. I want them to remember me as a lively vital person.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Originally posted by catnapper
That is also why I don't want an open casket... because I don't want their last memory of me to be one of a waxen looking body in a casket.. I want them to remember me as a lively vital person.

Very good point. We were with hubby's Granny when she passed. Having emigrated at a young age, she was like my granny too, and I was deeply upset by her passing. But worst was having seen her all wrapped up in preparation for being taken to the funeral home. I would rather have had a happier "last picture" in my head.

I argue with hubby re organ donation. I want every useful part of my body to be used to improve or save another life. He is concerned that it will influence the amount of effort put into saving me, if the doctors are aware that I have authorised multiple transplants.

I want to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered at St Andrews in Scotland. I agree with Tonya that I would prefer donations to an animal welfare organisation instead of flowers.

BTW my MIL has a pace-maker and she made my SIL (who is ALMOST a doctor - 5th year medical student) promise to take the pacemaker out when she dies - she is terrified it will start up and she will wake up in a coffin

[Tonya]

Yeah! I forgot a few things. I want my organs donated. BUT I don't want doctors to know about it until after they know they can't save me. I have heard stories about how they don't try as hard if they know you are a donor. AND, if for some reason, my family just must have a casket, it'd better be closed casket or I'll come back and haunt them!

[sirrahved]

I don't really care what my relatives do with me. It's their money now. I won't be there. What ever they do they do for themselves.

Jason wants his head cut off and to have a giant cold cut and veggie spread in place of his body

[sammy101]

Well i dont really want to think about that now.Im still yound.I will be 14 in September and have a long way to go as long as i stay healthy!! but i dont think that i want an open casket.

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by sirrahved
I don't really care what my relatives do with me. It's their money now. I won't be there. What ever they do they do for themselves.

Jason wants his head cut off and to have a giant cold cut and veggie spread in place of his body

I *hope* you are joking as that is pretty gross

In our denomination (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), at least where we belonged, there is no open casket because we do not believe the person is any longer there. Some people may have a viewing but I have never known of one. There are also no flowers. The "funeral" is a rather comforting and joyous occasion and is referred to as a "coronation' since we know that the believer has gone to eternal life and the funeral is to celebrate that fact. My hubby and I do not want a funeral however - simply a graveside burial that will already be paid in advance so nobody has to think about planning or be stuck with the cost. We will have vaults (so the ground does not cave in) because they are required by law but only wooden non pressure sealed boxes.

[Freckles]

Originally posted by catnapper
Would they feel better burying a casket or scattering my ashes somewhere they think I'd be happy?

A third option is cremation with burial. That's what my parents chose.

[tatsxxx11]

How do you want your funeral?

Later rather than sooner!

[Desert Arabian]

I would want my funeral to be held in the largest pasture on my horse farm (if I owned one at the time) and I would want all my horses and other animals there and I would want to be burried in that horse pasture under a large tree.

[Corinna]

I'm in agreement with a lot of you. My mom and I want a jazz funeral . Donate organs, cremate, then have a huge happy party . Mom wants to be scattered in her rose bed. I want to have mine sent to the Tillimock light house . The have a place to put a plaque in your honor and once a month they scatter the ashes into the Pacific ocean from the light house. Or you can have them inturned there. I want to be scattered. I love the whales and ocean life.

[Miss Meow]

I'm happy for my organs to be donated after I leave this earth. I'm a bit funny about donating my eyes for some reason, even though I probably won't need them where I'm going

I remember someone in the media dying last year and his organs saved 18 lives - that's an amazing gift to give.

I think surgeons try hard to save people regardless of whether they're organ donors or not. If they allow you to die in order to harvest your organs, the remaining family will probably sue their asses off and there's no guarantee your organs will be a match to anybody on recipient lists anyway.

I'd also like to be cremated with a small headstone where my mother's parents are buried. It's a lovely, really small community cemetery.

My will already has Shane and then my parents as the main beneficiaries so that's all taken care of, but I want to add a clause so any pets I have will be cared for. I think Randi and I have spoken about this after a similar thread

[K9karen]

I'm serious...I want a Jewish Wake (probably the 1st ever)..lots of partying, clinking of glasses, funny stories, donations to Animal Sanctuaries and if the docs can find something that still works by then, some poor soul can have it and I hope it brings them health and happiness.
And I want to wear jeans and a tank top to be comfortable, not some fancy gown which I would never ever wear anyway. I'm gonna party where I'm going (I hope) anyway!

[micki76]

I *want* to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with all my pets who've gone before me, and then I want us scattered someplace lovely.

My husband wants me to be buried next to him. If I allow him to bury me (which I probably will), I must be buried with all my pets that have gone before me. I want them in the coffin with me. In Texas you can have your pets buried with you, but you must state that you want that done in your will. It's in mine.

NO FUNERAL. NONE. To me, it's a waste of money. It would only make me mad if they have a funeral.

[carole]

Tonya what an excellent thread, I don't find it morbid or depressing but rather practical.

I have only been to three funerals in my life-time so far, and each time I have written down things I particularly liked at that funeral, for my own funeral, of course I have made it well known that these instructions are to be followed to the best of their ability and finances.

I am going to be cre-mated, I have been to both burials and cremation and find burials a whole lot more sad and stressful for the family.

I have left directions down to the flowers I wish for , the colour of the hearse, the music to be played at the after get-together , which will suprise some people, the prayers and hyms, which will be kept to a minimum.

And of course there will be a scottish piper, to pipe people into the proceedings, I keep making changes to my preferences with every funeral I attend, and keep it updated, thankfully I have not been to many, and hope not to go to many more.

I do however wish my husband, and my parents would make their wishes known to me, it takes a lot of stress and organising off an already difficult time, and my beliefs are well you cannot always have want you wanted in life, so at least maybe you can in death.

P.S i wish to add I never ever want my casket to be open and have myself viewed, that would be so awful, I would probably rise from the Dead it would upset me so much, no kiddin, and also I want donations to the neurological foundation and of course animal welfare, and cancer society rather than flowers,most important.

I like you ally want my ashes scattered over my place of birth Ellon Scotland, one day I will make it over there lol., one way or another.