KIDS.....
1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.
At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?"! I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
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4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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5. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her
what it was. Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall
not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife,"
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6. Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the
movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The
scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide- eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it
was the 20,000 leaks!"
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7. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."
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8. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four."
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9. Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small
boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took
the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
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Good ones Willie! Ya can't beat kid humor 
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