Poll .... Your HONEST opinion PLEASE!!!

[kimlovescats]

Due to the recent losses I have had, I am seriously feeling overcome with GUILT and REMORSE. I'm feeling that I have past the point of helping with my rescue work and am now doing more harm than good.

Taking in so many at one time, and having several of "your own" to provide for as well, can become overwhelming ... particularly on the budget. To date, I have not been able to find another local rescue program who will help with finances, I only know of two other local area women who each do basically the same thing I do. One of them is very diligent, but has experienced MUCH more loss of life than I have. The other is very young and as far as I can tell, "in it for the money"!!!! She charges $75.00 for each adoption, even if they have nad NOTHING done to them (spay / neuter, shots, etc.) and sends them out in FILTHY condition! So.... I KNOW I at least have done "better" than her!

OK.... here is the setup for the poll......

I try to look at the overall picture, where would my rescues have been, if I had not taken them in? How would they have passed on? etc....etc.... Should I have turned them away, would they have been better "served" elsewhere, or put to death at the pound? I KNOW that several were definitely going to the pound!



Please answer the poll honestly! MULTIPLE answers are allowed!

THANKS

[PayItForward]

Kim,

I will be honest but my answer isn't on your list.

I would suggest you look at each cat's situation on a case by case basis and do what you feel is the best solution.

----------------
but you asked for opinions, so here is a few.....
You should not feel obligated to take a cat because the 'owner' threatens to PTS.

You are NOT responsible for their behaviour. Tell them that. , give them a list of rescue centres.

You can only afford vet bills when you can afford them !!

I know some people would pay anything for a pet but everyone has a limit. Sadly money is a factor in deciding vet treatment and don't feel bad about this, it is just a fact of life.

Having PTS two sick strays, I know how the guilt feeling goes but if the choice is between sick dying cat on the streets or PTS with love, I know which option the cat would choose.
----------------

But in the end these decisions are yours and only yours to make.

You have to live with each and every decision you make.

I'm sure you have made and will continue to make the right choices for all those cats you help.

You have done so much wonderful work in the past and I suspect you'll go onto to help many more kitties in the future.

It is just a shame the endings aren't always happy for the cats but that is the so called 'owners' fault not yours.


{{Hugs}} to you and remember you do a great and charitible deeds for your cats/strays etc but you can't help them all.

(Unless you win the lottery )

[kimlovescats]

Thank you SO much for your honesty, and your GUTS to even answer this post..... see lots of views but only YOUR post so far!!!

[Barbara]

I did not answer the poll mainly for the same reasons as Payitforward and I agree fully with her.

You should not feel guilt and remorse because you are NOT responsible for the bad situation of so many cats -it is their former owner and in some way even nature itself because some strays are already in this situation for generations.

If you do your best -and I am sure that's what you do- the situation will be better for some cats but you cannot provide a long life and happiness for all of them. That's because you are not almighty, you are human.

I believe that there is a little cell in space and time in which we can try to make things better -and you are doing more there than many many people. I couldn't do the work you do because I am not as strong as you.

You are helping many cats and make the world quite a bit better in your area. And you should be proud of that even if it is nearly too tough sometimes

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[K & L]

Kim
That’s such a tough question and I don’t think you should be beating yourself up over the losses. I know this is devastating, but you were trying to do the right thing. Even so, I have to go with “if you don’t have the funds to provide proper vet care than maybe the kitten/cat needs to be where it can be provided when needed”. Especially when you first bring in a new kitten/cat, they should be examined by a vet to ensure there is nothing wrong. Kittens coming into your home may have gone through some difficult situations that may have weakened their immune system making them susceptible to illness. They may also have been exposed to illness prior to coming. You’ve done a wonderful thing saving and helping these babies, but if it is becoming overwhelming financially I feel you need to limit your intake to what you can afford. Best of luck to your rescue efforts!

[catlover4ever]

Kim, while I responded to the poll with an answer of do the best you can. I agree with PayItForward, you can not feel responsible for every cat in the world, you have to make the decision that is best for you both financially and emotionally.

I am not a cat rescuer per se, but any cat that comes to my house is always given the basic needs, food, warmth, shelter and most of all love. I used to let it get to me when I would be out to dinner and see a cat going through a trash can, but in reality I can not save them all and neither can you. You are truely doing a wonderful job, every one that you can help is better off in the long run...even if they are sick. You at least give these cats something that they probally have never had....LOVE. I beleive you are an angel for doing what you do. God gives us only what he feels we can handle.

I have been in your situation. I know about the budget....I argue this with my husband all the time...he says "Cats are so expensive"...my response "So are children and husbands" I feel sometimes like I can never win. I have had to have several of my rescues put down, it is NEVER easy. To me it is the hardest thing in the world. Cleo for instance, never trusted anyone, but she stayed in our yard and accepted the food and shelter that I provided for her. I was never able to touch her...she would just run away. During this winter, we got a really horrible snow storm, it snowed, and snowed, and snowed some more. By the second day of the storm Cleo had moved from her doghouse to one that was in our breezeway of the house. Her eyes were swollen shut, she could not eat, and she was almost comatose. I made the decision to put her down. I stayed with her and petted her, spoke to her and gave her a kiss as she passed. I still cry for her and miss her dearly. I know that I did the right thing, the thing that Cleo would have wanted, I know she did not want to suffer.

I think it is hard because these cats can not "talk" to us. They can not come out and say "You know Kim, I'm actually very sick and would find RB to be a better place for me, but Thank You for caring for me".

I hope this makes some sort of sense. Kim, like I said YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!!!for doing what you do. {{{hugs}}}

Meg

[PayItForward]

Originally posted by kimlovescats
Thank you SO much for your honesty, and your GUTS to even answer this post..... see lots of views but only YOUR post so far!!!

LOL.. I'm just too direct and opinionated

[kimlovescats]

Tear are now flowing, Meg ..... I truly do wish that these babies could tell me what they want. I still see the sadness in their eyes and the plea for help, and all I can do is guess at what is best.

[catlover4ever]

Kim, sorry for the tears...I too wish they could speak. I don't think you are guessing....I have a feeling that if you are anything like me, you know DEEP down that you are doing what is right. It is just that the voice in the back of your head keeps making you second guess your decision. Damn that voice

I can tell you from experience that it hurts for a while, but then after a while you can look back and say without a doubt "I DID the right thing".

[sasvermont]

Kim, I too agree that you must evaluate each case/cat as they show up. Some cats are ferals and need to stay that way - all you can do is vet them and maybe feed them.

You are not responsible for every cat around. Folks often take the path of least resistance when it comes to getting rid of their pets (pests). They don't want to spend their time looking for a good home so they dump them.

I have taken ferals to the vet for neutering etc. and some of my neighbors thanked me and helped me out financially and some of my neighbors and friends said and did nothing. Oh well. Do what you want and can do....and listen to your heart.

You know you will always have us to help you out if things get tough.

[iloverat]

Dear Kim --- I really have nothing much to add because the previous posters have said exactly what I think. Unfortunately for us animal lovers, our hearts are usually bigger than our bank accounts. There is no way we can take in all the neglected or abused babies that we see. It's just physically and financially impossible. A friend of mine and I fantasize from time to time about what we could do we if had the space, energy and money but that is just daydreaming. The reality is that we have to limit what we can do. If you saw someone else doing all that you do but yet they were feeling guilty that they couldn't do more, wouldn't you put an arm around them, reassure them and try to comfort them? Sometimes we have to do that for ourselves, too. We deserve to treat ourselves with the same gentleness and kindness that we too often tend to reserve for others. You are such a loving person. Please know that whatever you CAN do is absolutely AOK and that you can't be expected to do the impossible. So as I wrote at the top, I really have nothing to add Take care of yourself, sweetie, absorb all the {{{hugs}}} sent your way, regroup and then soldier on

[moosmom]

Kim,

PayItForward said everything I would've said so there's no reason to post it again.

Except....do not EVER let a person threaten to put their cat to sleep just because you won't take it. What they are doing is trying to transfer THEIR guilt on you. I have had that happen to me on several occasions. My comeback is, "You want to kill YOUR cat, that is YOUR decision. I know I'LL be able to sleep tonight and look at myself in the mirror in the morning, WILL YOU??" It will be on YOUR conscience, not mine." Stupid people that pull tha crap have no business owning pets.

Kim, you are doing the very best you can. Please don't get down on yourself or feel guilty because you can't take anymore in. There comes a time when it DOES become overwhelming and that's when you need to take a break.

And every cat situation is different Keep on doing what you're doing, go with your instincts and keep telling yourself that you cannot save them all.

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by sasvermont
Do what you want and can do....and listen to your heart.

I couldn't have said this better myself.

I think the number one thing are the furkids you have at home. Put them first and if you have time and $$, help who you can. That is the lesson I've learned these past few months with my fosters.

There aren't too many rescue organizations around here either, so I know the feeling when you want a cat to be helped, but you can't do anything about it...unless you take it home.

I know you've begun to get down on yourself. But Kim, please don't. You've done so much for so many unwanted cats and kittens. I'm always so inspired by you and your generosity.

Is there a local shelter or vet's office that would be willing to work with you regarding vet costs, placement and/or maybe even just a place to keep them?

I'll be praying you feel better about things. You're an angel in my book. Honestly, when I start getting down about all the homeless animals, I think of people like you who ARE there and DO make a difference.

In my short time doing it, rescue is a thankless, sad job. I hate, hate, hate letting these kittens go, because in my opinion, the only people "good enough" would be my PT friends.

[carole]

Kim there is not much I can add, as everyone had said it so well, but I believe every cat or kitten that has entered your household has been truely blessed, with wonderful care, and love, whether or not they survived .

I know you have been going through a particularly rough time of late, and its no wonder you feel this despair, but I am sure Kim it will pass.

I am in awe of you myself, and what you do is fantastic, words cannot express what a wonderful caring individual you are.

You are these furbabies guardian angel!!!!

I am terribly sad for your recent loss, and I know you are still hurting, and you are probably asking yourself WHY? I wish there were some answers, but alas there is not, please donot give up what you are doing, you are doing the very best you can, and there are many beautiful kittys who are alive and well today because of you.

I send you a big HUG and Ash and Lexie send you big furhugs as well.

[jazzcat]

I voted for do the best you can and I think everyone who has responded has expressed how I feel.

You've done wonderful work so far and I know you'll do what is best for you and your rescues.