The Hardest Decision

[aly]

I am posting this with a very heavy heart.

They say you will always know when it is "time" for your dog to cross over to Rainbow Bridge. I never knew if I believed that or not. I thought it was so hard to judge quality of life sometimes. I mean, who am I to decide another living thing's quality of life and make a decision based on that judgement that will either end or continue their life?

This morning I knew. This morning Peka told me that it is her time. Her life is not so much of a life anymore, but more of waiting for the end. Her health isn't good. It never has been good, but it is much worse. I touched her this morning lightly on her back and she screamed and ran from me. She hit the wall and then just layed down with her face in the corner of the room. She ................ ugh, I can't talk about this part anymore

I rescued her from the shelter after they left her sitting in a back room for SIX WEEKS waiting for her euthanasia time. She was not in good shape. The vet only gave her about a month to live. After she had been at my house for a short week, I took her to a followup vet visit. The vet hardly recognized her. She was doing a lot better, but still dying. Its been a year now and she's caused me so much stress, sadness, and pain. I've had to replace carpet because of her. We went through a long diaper stage. I stayed up with her all night several times when she had bad reactions to her medicine. I cry almost daily listening to her cough because of her heart problems. BUT I wouldn't change anything. I don't regret taking her. I originally took her just for a week, but the people who were supposed to take her backed out. It has definately been a major hinderance to me. But I would do it all over again. Peka got to see what its like to be loved and warm in a happy home. Even if the rest of her life was a living hell, at least she has known a home for the past year.

I am going to talk to the vet later today and make an appointment

I know some of you will think I'm awful for this, but I've decided that I can't be present when it happens. I really don't think it will make any difference to her. My vet is a sweet woman who will comfort her. Emotionally, I ... I just can't do it I know I will have to do it when it comes time for one of my animals. But since she won't ca ----- I don't know. Don't think I'm horrible, please

[jenluckenbach]

Bless you Aly. Peka DID know love even if it were only for 1 year. Your place in heaven is reserved and it will be right next to a rejuvinated, happy healthy Peka. It is YOU she will wait for at the RB.
{{{HUGS}}} and prayers during this hard time.

[Samantha Puppy]

[Pam]

Aly, I don't think you could find a person on this planet who would feel you were a horrible person. You have given Peka so much more than just a place to live out her last months. You have shown her love and made a firm commitment, and kept it, to see her through it all until the end. Now that time is here and we all stand solidly behind you in however you feel comfortable carrying that out. There is no judging, not here, not amongst friends who understand. I wish for you peace as you make that call and a safe journey to the Bridge for Peka. My 4 poodles will be at the gate waiting to show her around. (((hugs)))

[Cinder & Smoke]

Originally posted by aly
I am posting this with a very heavy heart...

at least she has known a home for the past year.

Dear Aly ~

{{{Hugs}}} to You and Dear Peka...

Try to be strong, listen to Peka, and do what's best for her.

She's had the Best Year of her life with you;
you and she can remember that year forever.

Safe Trip to The Bridge, Dear Peka.

/s/ Phred

[Logan]

Aly, you have gone way above and beyond the call of duty, my friend. Peka has learned the meaning of real love with you. The only thing I would do differently than you is to be there. Because you will see her pass, with such a peacefullness that you can't even imagine. I would never tell you this if I hadn't experienced it myself with Kaycee. Either way, Peka will be ok, though, and she will enjoy eternal life, in a way that we can't even imagine.

I'm praying for strength, for you, and a peaceful passing for Peka.

Love,
Logan

[Aspen and Misty]

O Aly ::hugs::

Your post has touched me so deeply. The love you have for your Peka is so strong you are willing to put her quility of life before everything ::hugs::


You are the most wonderful person ever.
Ashley

[ramanth]

Oh Aly. *hugs to you and Peka*

I have never thought you horrible. Peka knew love and happiness from you when no one else would give it. She'll understand. I understand.

*HUGS*

[Cincy'sMom]

How could anyone think you horrible when you have give this speical girl an extra year of her life? ...and in a comfortable, loving home. A year, ago was nother time, but now, she is telling you it is. You hve done do much for her and shown her so much love, her cross to the bridge will be a happy one.

[carole]

Aly may you find the strength you need to help you through this very sad and difficult time.

Peka has had the best life you could give her, and now she will have a new life at RB, free from suffering and pain.

You are a wonderful person Aly and I feel for you so much at this awful time, I hope we at PT can help comfort you in your time of distress, take care and HUGE HUG to you and Peka.

[aly]

Originally posted by Cincy'sMom
How could anyone think you horrible when you have give this speical girl an extra year of her life? ...

Because I won't be in the room

I would be there if I thought she would care, but she never really cares or notices too much who is around her. She hates to be held and doesn't really like petting, its like she doesnt' know what it means.

I can't stop crying and I somehow have to go teach Dog Manners classes now.

[robinh]

Oh Aly, I'm so sorry! You have given this precious animal a wonderful year. I'll say it too, no one here would ever call you a bad person - you've done so much for Peka and for your other furbabies for us to ever call you that. And Peka would not call you that either - she loves you for what you gave her and for your pain at her passing.

I wish we could help you with your pain, but just know that we are there with you as you have been with us at our worst times.

[Cincy'sMom]

Originally posted by aly
Because I won't be in the room

I would be there if I thought she would care, but she never really cares or notices too much who is around her. She hates to be held and doesn't really like petting, its like she doesnt' know what it means.

I can't stop crying and I somehow have to go teach Dog Manners classes now.

Only you know Peka, Aly and know what is best for her. If she doesn't need you in the room, no one can fault you for that. Her passing will be peaceful, the stress will be on you. Don't put yourself though it.

You gave her so much in life, and that is what is important. You gave her a year of love, and kindness. Just because you won't be in the room physically, doesn't mean you won't be with her mentally, and she will know that.

[joycenalex]

{{{aly}}} i understand how hard this is. yes, my darling duke told me that it was time. i could see it in his eyes and the way he moved. he was ready to go. no one has the right to judge you for your choice to stay or not. i stayed, my mom, had to leave the room, your decision will be the right one for you and peka. your vet can let you see her after her spirit has left for the rainbow bridge, you can stay with her for awhile and talk to her. i felt a sense of sadness for myself, then a great joy when i realizied that duke could run and play again and he would never hurt, ever. you have given peka a great gift and she knows it. {{{aly}}}. love

[ChrisH]

Oh, Aly, so sad. Big Hugs to you and Peka.

You are both are in my thoughts and prayers.