what do you do or say...?

[aguu]

I need to vent with you guys about something that is breaking my heart.
My best friend in the world, whom I love as if she was my own sister is going to be spaying and
DECLAWING her sweet kitten this weekend.
This so upsetting to me you have no idea. I feel very strong about declawing - I think it's animal cruelty.
My friend is one of the most wonderful people I know and has always been a good friend and it would seem so unlike her.
I find that I cannot really be honest with her about how I feel because of course it is not worth our friendship.
So I just want to pour out my feeling here, with you guys! This poor little kitty - I want to go there and steal him! She says he scratches everything - well he's a kitten! What do you expect? if someone doesn't have the time or patience to train their cat not to scratch then they should not have taken the responsibility of one. I am worried that he will develop behavioral problems after and then she'll want to give him away!
Ah...this is just breaking my heart - I love my friend and I cannot believe she will go ahead - I tried talking to her but she just said - "don't even lecture me on this"
Ok, I really needed to vent. I know it's her decision and maybe he will be okay but I feel so sad! Can someone make me feel better....I mean am I overreacting?

[Tonya]

You should at least educate her. I had absolutley no idea about declawing until about 3 or 4 years ago. Luckily, growing up, my mom was to cheap to bother declawing our cats. But if I'd gotten a house cat a few years ago, I would have declawed it. You should give her this article (and there are many others)http://www.petstation.com/declaw.html. Just tell her that it is her decision, but you want her to be sure that she knows what she is doing first.

[Logan]

Aguu, it is a problem, knowing what to do or say in a situation like this. I faced it, several times, with my own sister, who I love dearly. Her animals are well cared for, much loved, but she always declaws her cats because of the damage they can cause on furniture and carpeting. Her cats are always indoor only cats, thank goodness. On several occasions, I have explained my position to her, and she completely understands, but she has always declawed anyway.

Sometimes you have to love people for who they are, for their acceptance of you when you state your opinion, then just back off, knowing that opinions differ at times and we don't always get the results we want. But never stop stating your opinion about declawing in a thoughtful, respectful manner, because one day, you may keep it from happening, even if it is only once, and it will have all been worth it.

I am in total agreement with your stance on the declawing issue, and I have my share of snagged furniture to show for it. You can only hope that the cat won't be in too much pain, and that its personality won't be affected by this surgery. In the case of my sister's cats, it never has been, thankfully.

Logan

[emily_the_spoiled]

I don't think that you are over reacting one bit. I agree with you that declawing is inhumane treatment of any animal. I know that there have been discussions on declawing. Some of them have good links that you could use to talk with your friend about. Here is the hyperlink for the search "declaw":
http://petoftheday.com/talk/search.p...der=descending

Good luck...

Cheryl

[GoldenRetrLuver]

~steps onto soapbox~

I dont think your over reacting. I would be doing the same thing. Does she have a scratching post for the kitten? I think if she was really your friend, she would listen to what you had to say instead of just saying "dont lecture me on this". Declawing is EXTREMLY painful for the cats, does she know this, or does she think it doesnt hurt? If she really cared about the cat, she would think twice before doing this...

~steps off of soapbox~

[NoahsMommy]

We had some friends decide they wanted to get a kitten. I was thrilled that another cat would have a home. Until....he said they would declaw it so it wouldn't wreak their furnature!!! I about fell out of my chair and explained why NOT to do that. It went in one ear and out the other. The only thing that worked (and actually discouraged them to get a cat...thank goodness!) was this website: www.declawing.com

Its an amazing website that is hugely factual and is not gross. They don't condemn those that choose to do it, but sternly talk about all the horrible draw backs of declawing.

Email your friend in a very nice and caring manner. Explain that the only reason you are upset/don't agree with her is because you know what effects the cat could have and that you don't want her to be unhappy with her cat. You can even offer to BUY their soft paws and put them on yourself....

Gosh, I hope and pray she doesn't declaw that poor cat.

A side note: I used the above link to give a speech in my Toastmasters club about declawing. EVERY single person that had cats had no clue how extensive and horrible the surgery is. That site is wonderful. I hope it helps your friend and her precious kitty.

[Cataholic]

All of my cats are declawed. My choice, every one of them. Today, if I was to adopt another cat, I would not declaw him/her.

While I don't think it changes their personalities, I do think it must be painful...though none of mine seem affected by it today. I don't think I fully understood the procedure, or, wasn't willing to open my eyes to it. Whatever the case, what is done, is done. I wouldn't do it today.

[slick]

I had a coworker/friend once that did the same thing. Because she knew how I felt about the procedure she did not tell me until it was over. You have to look at each situation. In her case, she had two choices 1) give the cats up or 2) have them declawed. I think she made the right decision and today all 3 cats are happy and healthy.

Personally, I'm totally against declawing and do agree that it's animal cruelty and done solely for the owner's benefit.

I don't think there is much you can do about the situation. You can try to educate her but sometimes you can talk until you are blue in the face and it still won't make a difference.

[aguu]

Ok... I did it. I e-mailed my friend a nice, friendly e-mail and just told her how much of a friend she is and how I feel I can say anything to her and how I needed to get this off my chest.
I attached the http://www.declawing.com/ link.
I hope she understands. She IS a very open minded person so I think we'll be ok. I Hope!
Paws crossed - claws and all!

[cubby31682]

Cubby is declawed. I never have agreed with it but I only had 2 choices. Have him taken into the animal shelter and be put to sleep becuase he is not good with kids and he is not good with to many adults or have him declawed and keep him. I chose to keep him and get him declawed. He is an indoor only cat. Apartment rules state that they have to be declawed to be allowed here. So I didn't have much choice. Watch a cat be put to sleep or see him with out claws. I thought the choice was pretty simple. If I had to make that choice all over again I would and I wouldn't change it unless I lived in a house of my own. But when we got him getting a house wasn't an option yet. When we do get a house I plan on screening in the back porch or something so he can see what it is like out side. Or if I can get a leash on him then I will take him out. But I would rather save a kitten from being put to sleep.

Katie.

[carole]

None of my cats are declawed, and i would never ever consider doing so, even though my lexie is quite destructive with her sharp claws, shes taken out the net curtains, scratched the wallpaper rather badly and holed my velvet curtains, although i find these things distressing and my home is slowly go to the ruin, i love her way too much to do something as inhumane as declawing. Lexie manages to do these little things at nighttime, when all good girls should be fast alseep NOT MY GIRL.

[cubby31682]

I love my cat very much. Like I said if I had my own house, I would never have got him declawed. But right now we live in an apartament and I have to do what I feel is right.

[carole]

oh i understand if you are in a rental situation and thats the rules, its either declaw or no cat, i guess you can understand the reason behind it all, after seeing what damage my sweet lil lexie can do and has done. I am certainly not judging you ,your circumstances are different to mine, and i understand that.

[cubby31682]

I understand what they can do. I was raised with cats my whole life all of them had claws except one and she didn't because some guy dropped her off while she was pregnet and declawed and left her to die basicly. I know it isn't the best thing to do to Cubby but at the time I had 1 other choice and I wasn't willing to put a perfectly healthy needed some work little kitten to sleep. When I got him he hated any one and every one. After working with him for a few weeks he grew to tolerant my husband. He fell in love with me the day I brought him home. His attitude has only gotten better since I have had him. Yes of course he can still be a pain in the butt but I love him to much to ever even thing about getting rid of him. When he was getting declawed they had to keep him over night to make sure every thing went okay. I couldn't sleep know that my little furbaby, was in the hospital which he hates most and, wasn't going to be sleeping on my feet or curling up with me. After I got him home I did regret my decision to get him declawed, but by then it was already to late. Before the surgery I couldn't feed him after midnight and when he got home he wasn't allowed to eat until 8 am do to the medication was still very obviously in him. I did feed him and what he ate came right back up which made me feel even worse let alone what he must have been feeling. Now has ajusted to not having any claws. The rules here are that they must be front and back declawed and yes I did misobey the rules. A front declaw is more than enough pain and more than enough claws to lose. I only would do a front. I did try and talk with the aparment manager before I did it. I heard of soft claws I think that is what they are called. She wouldn't let me get those instead. In my first post I do plan on buying a house with in this year. I will get another cat maybe an adult cat that is use to cats but I will not get the new cat declawed. But that is my story. Cubby will no matter what be my little baby. I will also attach another pictur of him I hope you all can see the first one. The picture was taken last Christmas. As you will be able to see he can still climb up my Christmas tree and he ended up breaking the tree and we paid over $200 for the tree and used it for 2 years before Cubby broke it but it was so cute to watch him having fun.

[cubby31682]

Oh I also forgot to add. All the holes in the tree that you can see are where he once was. He got almost all the way to the top before I had to pull him out. The tree looked like it was going to fall over if he kept climbing.